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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27472879">Incorrect Barden Bella's.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilovetoread2019/pseuds/Ilovetoread2019'>Ilovetoread2019</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Pitch Perfect (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Among Us, F/F, Run-Dont-Walk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:13:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,562</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27472879</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilovetoread2019/pseuds/Ilovetoread2019</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b>Things the Bella's haven't said, but probably would have.<br/></b>
  <br/>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chloe Beale &amp; Beca Mitchell, Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Bella's on Among us.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This isn't my work. Wish I was so creative. So every credit goes to <b>Run-Dont-Walk</b><br/>The jokes used are all from the mind <b>Run-Dont-Walk</b> not from any other franchise (tv shows, books, movies, etc.) unless specified.</p><p>  <b>!!! Might include some explicit content!!!</b></p><p>The one-shot/fanfics are usually a lot more descriptive, but since this is a comedy one-shot I thought I'd use a more "immediate" type of humor, if that makes sense? Whatever. </p><p>  <b>THAT BEING SAID, GET PITCH-SLAPPED</b></p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <strong>If you haven't heard about it already, Among us is an online game about a space crew, where one of more imposters (randomly chosen) have to kill the other players in secrecy while the latter try to figure out who it it.</strong>
  <br/>
</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>It cracked me up, so I didn't want to keep this from you. Read it their voices and your in for a wild ride.</b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Colors: </strong>
</p><p> </p><p><strong>Beca:</strong> Purple</p><p><strong>Chloe:</strong> Pink</p><p><strong>Fat Amy:</strong> yellow</p><p><strong>Emily:</strong> white</p><p><strong>Aubrey:</strong> cyan</p><p><strong>Stacie:</strong> red</p><p><strong>Cr:</strong> blue</p><p><strong>Flo:</strong> orange</p><p><strong>Lilly:</strong> black</p><p><strong>Jessica:</strong> lime green</p><p><strong>Ashley:</strong> dark green</p><p> </p><p>-----------</p><p>
  <strong>~ Round 1 ~</strong>
</p><p><strong>Aubrey:</strong> I'm gonna be so good at at this game. I'll bet I win within the first minutes.</p><p>
  <strong>*Aubrey gets killed 20 seconds in*</strong>
</p><p><strong>Aubrey (ghost):</strong> What the fuck guys </p><p>-----------</p><p>
  <strong>~ Round 2 ~</strong>
</p><p><strong>Beca:</strong> Where</p><p><strong>Flo:</strong> Who</p><p><strong>Cr:</strong> Emily in storage</p><p><strong>Beca:</strong> Say no more</p><p>
  <strong>*Everyone votes Fat Amy*</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>*Fat Amy was imposter*</strong>
</p><p>-----------</p><p>
  <strong>~ Round 3 ~</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>*Flo calls an emergency meeting*</strong>
</p><p><strong>Flo:</strong> Stacie vented </p><p><strong>Stacie:</strong> No!!!</p><p>
  <strong>*Everyone votes Stacie*</strong>
</p><p><strong>Aubrey:</strong> Beca you're left</p><p><strong>Beca:</strong> Yeah, I'm thinking</p><p><strong>Stacie:</strong> Hey sexy</p><p><strong>Beca:</strong> Not gonna work</p><p><strong>Stacie:</strong> Dammit</p><p>
  <strong>*Stacie was the imposter*</strong>
</p><p>-----------</p><p>
  <strong>~ Round 4 ~</strong>
</p><p><strong>Stacie:</strong> Lilly sus</p><p><strong>Stacie:</strong> She isn't responding</p><p><strong>Beca:</strong> Come to think of it, has she ever?</p><p><strong>Chloe:</strong> She isn't very talkative you know</p><p><strong>Aubrey:</strong> Lilly defend yourself</p><p>
  <strong>Lilly:</strong>
</p><p><strong>Fat Amy:</strong> How did she send a blank bubble??</p><p>-----------</p><p>
  <strong>~ Round 5 ~</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>*Emily calls an emergency meeting*</strong>
</p><p>Emily: why is my name red???</p><p>
  <strong>*Emily was ejected*</strong>
</p><p>________</p><p>
  <strong>~ ROUND 6 ~</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>*Chloe sees Beca kill and reports*</strong>
</p><p><strong>CR</strong>: ???</p><p><strong>Chloe</strong>: nav</p><p><strong>Chloe</strong>: I didn't see anything let's skip this one 😄</p><p>________</p><p>
  <strong>~ ROUND 7 ~</strong>
</p><p><strong>Ashley (ghost):</strong> I got killed wtf?!?</p><p><strong>Ashley (ghost):</strong> helloo</p><p><strong>Ashley (ghost):</strong> how did y'all not find my body?? It's been 5 minutes!! 😡😡</p><p><strong>Ashley (ghost):</strong> 7 minutes seriously guys?!</p><p><strong>Jessica (ghost):</strong> hi 😃</p><p><strong>Ashley (ghost):</strong> of course</p><p>_______</p><p>
  <strong>~ ROUND 8 ~</strong>
</p><p><strong>Fat Amy</strong>: Stacie ur up</p><p><strong>Fat Amy</strong>: if u vote Beca we win</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: no don't believe her it's Amy</p><p><strong>Stacie</strong>: oh how the turntables</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: Stacie don't vote me</p><p><strong>Stacie</strong>: and why not?</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: u were always my favorite bella</p><p>
  <strong>*Fat Amy was ejected*</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>*the impostors won*</strong>
</p><p>________</p><p>
  <strong>~ ROUND 9 ~</strong>
</p><p><strong>Emily</strong>: it was me I'm so sorry</p><p><strong>CR</strong>: wut</p><p><strong>Stacie</strong>: ok</p><p><strong>Chloe</strong>: EMILY GODDAMMIT</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: y r u telling us</p><p><strong>Emily</strong>: I felt so bad</p><p><strong>Emily</strong>: I'm sorry for killing you Lily</p><p><strong>Lily (ghost</strong>): I feel comfortable in a dead body</p><p><strong>Chloe</strong>: EMILY YOU NUMBNUT WE COULD HAVE WON</p><p><strong>CR</strong>: so there goes the other impostor</p><p><strong>Chloe</strong>: IDC YOU'RE IN TROUBLE FOR THIS MISSY</p><p><strong>Fat Amy</strong>: calm yo tits Chlo</p><p><strong>Chloe</strong>: NO !!!!</p><p>
  <strong>*Chloe was ejected*</strong>
</p><p>________</p><p>
  <strong>~ ROUND 10 ~</strong>
</p><p><strong>Stacie</strong>: it was Flo</p><p><strong>Stacie</strong>: I saw her kill through the cams</p><p><strong>Flo</strong>: but was it really murder? or was it karma</p><p>*<strong>Flo was the impostor*</strong></p><p>________</p><p>
  <strong>~ ROUND 11 ~</strong>
</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: Chloe sus</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: for why?</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: she keeps following me around</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: trying to get me alone</p><p><strong>Stacie</strong>: and?</p><p><strong>Fat Amy</strong>: she just has a crush</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: what</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: 🙄</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: skipping.</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: no no go back to the crush bit</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: SKIPPING.</p><p>________</p><p>
  <strong>~ ROUND 12 ~</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>*Aubrey calls an emergency meeting*</strong>
</p><p><strong>Stacie</strong>: what</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: someone's not doing their tasks.</p><p><strong>Fat Amy</strong>: uh yeah... the impostors</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: I meant you're all slacking off, smartass.</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: this is a serious operation and as your spaceship captain,</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: as our what</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: I declare it's no time to play around.</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: play ar- this is literally a game</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: not on my ship it isn't.</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: We must work together to overcome the impostor and I will lead you to victory.</p><p><strong>Fat Amy</strong>: I don't remember electing you captain</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: well, every spaceship needs one, obviously.</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: and I'm the most qualified.</p><p><strong>Emily</strong>: wait, we're on a spaceship?</p><p><strong>Emily</strong>: oh! We're astronauts!</p><p><strong>Chloe</strong>: what did you think we were?</p><p><strong>Emily</strong>: I don't</p><p><strong>Chloe</strong>: Emily</p><p><strong>Emily</strong>: headless teletubbies??</p><p><strong>Emily</strong>: minions on crack??</p><p><strong>Emily</strong>: anthropoid representations of the extensive spectrums of human emotions????</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: this is why you need me as a captain.</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: I say we do an election then</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: ya have my VOTE ;)</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: wait a minute.</p><p><strong>Stacie</strong>: lol mine too</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: guys.</p><p><strong>Fat Amy</strong>: see ya Cap</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: WAIT</p><p>
  <strong>*Aubrey was ejected*</strong>
</p><p>________</p><p>
  <strong>~ ROUND 13 ~</strong>
</p><p><strong>CR</strong>: I was in electrical</p><p><strong>Emily</strong>: med bay</p><p><strong>Emily</strong>: I saw Chloe and Beca in weapons</p><p><strong>Stacie</strong>: making out</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: being good christians**</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: and I was with Jessica in storage.</p><p><strong>Jessica</strong>: but I wasn't?</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: you weren't...?</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: Bree sus</p><p><strong>Ashley</strong>: ahem <em>I</em> was in storage w you</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: Bree no more sus</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: Bree embarrassed tho</p><p><strong>Jessica</strong>: how did you mix up our avatars too?!</p><p>_______</p><p>
  <strong>~ ROUND 14 ~</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>*Stacie calls an emergency meeting*</strong>
</p><p><strong>CR</strong>: what??</p><p><strong>Stacie</strong>: has any of you seen my red scrunchie?</p><p>
  <strong>*Stacie was ejected*</strong>
</p><p>________</p><p>ROUND 15</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: I um</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: I caught Beca and Chloe through the cams...</p><p><strong>CR</strong>: lies</p><p><strong>Emily</strong>: they aren't in this game?</p><p><strong>CR</strong>: I was in security</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: no uh</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: not those cams...</p><p><strong>Flo</strong>: wait</p><p><strong>Stacie</strong>: OH MY GOD HAHAHAHAHAHA</p><p><strong>Fat Amy</strong>: bechloe rise???</p><p><strong>Stacie</strong>: those slick mfs lmaooo</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: shut up I need to cleanse my eyes.</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: I didn't invite you guys at the lodge for this.</p><p><strong>Emily</strong>: I'm lost, who's winning?</p><p><strong>Fat Amy</strong>: today, Legacy, we're all winners</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: can't relate.</p><p>________</p><p>
  <strong>~ ROUND 16 ~</strong>
</p><p><strong>CR</strong>: it's green</p><p><strong>Fat Amy</strong>: which one</p><p><strong>CR</strong>: ...</p><p><strong>CR</strong>: Idk</p><p><strong>Chloe</strong>: it's both</p><p><strong>Stacie: </strong>why</p><p><strong>Chloe</strong>: they wouldn't stop giggling</p><p>_______</p><p>
  <strong>~ ROUND 17 ~</strong>
</p><p><strong>Fat Amy</strong>: Beca was faking a task</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: what??</p><p><strong>Flo</strong>: which one</p><p><strong>Fat Amy</strong>: the card</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: no</p><p><strong>Chloe</strong>: I'm with her she didn't fake it</p><p><strong>CR</strong>: ?</p><p><strong>Chloe</strong>: she wasn't managing the swipe so she threw her phone on the bed and left it at that</p><p><strong>Emily</strong>: so that was the scream I heard</p><p><strong>Lily</strong>: no that was me</p><p><strong>CR</strong>: ...?</p><p><strong>Lily</strong>: practicing</p><p>_______</p><p><strong>~</strong> <strong>ROUND 18 ~</strong></p><p><strong>Chloe</strong>: it was me and Beca</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: WTF DUDE??</p><p><strong>Ashley</strong>: ok</p><p><strong>Jessica</strong>: ok</p><p><strong>Stacie</strong>: trouble in paradise? 🤭</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: why did u sell us out?!</p><p><strong>Chloe</strong>: that's what you get for killing me earlier</p><p><strong>CR</strong>: someone's sleeping on the couch 😬</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: you're getting ejected too!!</p><p><strong>Chloe</strong>: priorities</p><p>________</p><p>
  <strong>~ ROUND 19 ~</strong>
</p><p><strong>Emily</strong>: Flo vented</p><p><strong>Flo</strong>: Emily takes drugs</p><p><strong>Emily</strong>: what???</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: WHAT</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: Emily is that true?</p><p><strong>Emily</strong>: no!!!</p><p><strong>Flo</strong>: it's my word against yours</p><p><strong>Chloe</strong>: who gives a flute?!? time's running out we gotta beat the impostor!!</p><p><strong>CR</strong>: so much for priorities</p><p>________</p><p>
  <strong>~ ROUND 20 ~</strong>
</p><p><strong>CR</strong>: Amy sus</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: yes, I agree.</p><p><strong>Flo</strong>: yes. let's vote then</p><p><strong>Fat Amy</strong>: but u can't</p><p><strong>Flo</strong>: why</p><p><strong>Fat Amy:</strong> u don't have a green card</p><p>
  <strong>*Fat Amy was the impostor*</strong>
</p><p>_______</p><p>
  <strong>~ ROUND 21 ~</strong>
</p><p><strong>Emily</strong>: what happened?</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: the server was down</p><p><strong>Lily</strong>: it's ok I hacked another one</p><p><strong>Lily</strong>: bigger</p><p><strong>Lily</strong>: stronger</p><p><strong>Fat Amy</strong>: like the Pentagon? lol</p><p><strong>Lily</strong>: yes</p><p><strong>Fat Amy</strong>: hUH?</p><p><strong>Aubrey</strong>: Lily!!</p><p><strong>Emily</strong>: what if they catch us??</p><p><strong>Lily</strong>: we'll play somewhere else then</p><p><strong>CR</strong>: JAIL?!</p><p><strong>Beca</strong>: been there. Not fun</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The Barden Bellas decided to call it a night afterwards, knowing that the game was soon to become an addictive distraction from reality's at times dull days.<br/>If the silly little game taught them something, it's that they always work better as a team. Because really, they suck at accusing one another.<br/>They also learned things about each other, and themselves.<br/>Lily revealed her impressive hacking skills, Emily realized that "you can't kill me, that's illegal" is not a solid defense Aubrey saw things she would never be able to unsee, and Fat Amy discovered she had a knack for killing - which a slightly concerned Beca insisted she wanted to come back to later. Also, none of them can really tell the difference between dark green and lime green, but that might be due to "external forces", Stacie theorized. Jessica and Ashley argued that the external forces were just the girls' bitch nature, but they didn't actually say it out loud... I think.<br/>All in all, the game was a nice, different, fresh experience, and albeit not a gamer, Beca didn't absolutely hate it. Nevertheless she was more than keen on locking her door at night after observing her best friends' in-game... tendencies.<br/>Just in case.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Bellas Go To The Beach. {ONESHOT}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spring break. The perfect time for the Bellas to hang out as a group and get more spiritual connection with one another, at least according to their captain Chloe Beale. How were they going to do that? Obviously through a trip to the beach!</p><p>Some of them were pretty enthusiastic about the trip, some were indifferent to it and some were just being persuaded by Chloe's puppy eyes (Beca).</p><p>Regardless, the trip was happening and Chloe was currently making sure they were all packed up and ready to go.</p><p>"Did you pack your sunscreen?" the ginger asked Beca, knowing how extremely sensitive the pale girl's skin was.</p><p>"For the umpteenth time, yes,"</p><p>"Just double-checking," Chloe shrugged and went on to the next box to tick off, "Did you unpack your illegal weapons?" she asked Lily.</p><p>"If I say yes but mean no and something happens, you won't be charged as my accomplice," the quiet girl mumbled.</p><p>"That's good enough for me, I guess," the ginger replied and turned to Emily, "Em! Did you pack your teddy bear?" the younger girl quickly reddened.</p><p>"W-who told you I have a teddy bear?" she stuttered out.</p><p>"Legacy, look at you. How would you expect us to believe you don't have a teddy bear?" Fat Amy commented as the group went downstairs. The young Bella looked down in embarrassment and kept quiet as they walked, confirming everyone's thoughts.</p><p>Once they loaded the bus and sorted their seating arrangements, Chloe spoke up.</p><p>"I'm really glad we're doing this, guys! I love spending time with this group!" she grinned excitedly, so excitedly that Beca almost felt bad for not matching her eagerness in the slightest, "and I have been planning this since, like, the start of the year,"</p><p>"You really have too much time on your hands..." Fat Amy mumbled from the driver's seat.</p><p>"Well the last time I was put on a bus with a bunch of girls my age heading to the beach I thought I was being deported, so... this is definitely an upgrade," Flo commented.</p><p>"Yeah I'm happy about this too, the beach is great with all those hot surfers on their sexy boards... I can't wait to ride them,"</p><p>"The surfboards...?" Beca asked from the seat beside Chloe's, frowning as if she knew the answer but hoped she was wrong. When Stacie smirked and winked in response, she earned a fair share of grimaces from the girls.</p><p>"Gross, Stace,"</p><p>"Wait, I don't understand, why is it gross?" Emily asked in confusion, looking back and forth between her fellow teammates. Stacie opened her mouth to speak but Cynthia-Rose (thankfully) beat her to it.</p><p>"I'm telling you some other time,"</p><p>"Okay..." Emily trailed off, still confused.</p><p>"So, we've got everything, right? We didn't forget anything?" Chloe triple checked. Beca sighed heavily beside her.</p><p>"Yes, Chlo-" she suddenly cut herself off in doubt and checked the backseats, before turning back to the redhead, "Yes, Jessica and Ashley are both here, we're good to go,"</p><p>"Great, onward then, Amy!"</p><p>"At least one of them looked for us,"</p><p>"Let's not get used to it, Jess,"<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>*****</strong><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"Stacie, stop flirting with surfer boy and pass the ball!" Flo yelled.</p><p>"What ball?"</p><p>"We're playing beach volley," Ashley reminded the leggy brunette.</p><p>"Can it be considered beach volley if we're playing in the water?" Jessica asked.</p><p>"I think so,"</p><p>"Shouldn't it be called 'water volley' then?"</p><p>"Yeah, they should totally fire whoever is in charge of game names,"</p><p>"We should probably look it up,"</p><p>"Hello, you two? Don't get lost in your own conversation now, we need the ball!" Aubrey whined. The girls had picked her up along the way before getting to their destination, it's not an official Bellas hangout without their former leader.</p><p>"Sorry, Aubrey," the pair said in unison.</p><p>"I guess when I compared this to potential deportation, I spoke too soon..." Flo mumbled to herself.</p><p>Meanwhile, Fat Amy, Beca and CR were playing cards under a sun umbrella Beca had fixated in the sand. Amy had commented that with all the suncreeen she had applied, the tiny brunette most certainly wouldn't need the extra protection, but the DJ replied that instead of smiling at her, the sun blew raspberries in mockery at the poor brunette every time it saw her.</p><p>"Hey! I saw that Queen under the table, Amy, you're cheating!" Beca exclaimed, pointing one finger towards the Australian accusingly.</p><p>"Woah woah woah, the only queen you see is me. That was, uh, a tissue, " the blonde defended weakly.</p><p>"A tissue with the shape and color of a queen of spades?"</p><p>"It's impressive how original they get with tissues nowadays, isn't it?" the brunette just rolled her eyes and decided not to argue.</p><p>"Hope you have another ace up your sleeve, Amy, because my friends here still get more points than yours," CR grinned, revealing her lucky hand of cards. Beca gasped in surprise while Amy countered, "First of all, there's room for a lot more aces in my sleeve, I wear XL clothes. Second of all... I will not buy you Sour Patch Kids,"</p><p>"But that was the deal!"</p><p>"Yeah, well, I have no money with me so it's on Beca,"</p><p>"Is it normal that I've heard you say those words more often than 'hey, how are you?'" Beca sighed, sliding her sunglasses down on her eyes.</p><p>"I don't need to ask you, we vibin'," Amy smiled, nudging the brunette.</p><p>"That's the laziest excuse I've ever heard," CR commented before they were approached by Emily and Chloe, dripping wet from the little swim-off they were having. Emily had won, but she agreed to pretend Chloe had because the young girl knew how competitive the ginger was – and that she would go ballistic or cry whenever she lost.</p><p>"Hey guys, what are you doing?" Emily questioned gently, smiling at the group.</p><p>"Playing poker and people-watching," Beca replied.</p><p>"People-watching?"</p><p>"Yeah, look at that guy," the DJ pointed to a middle aged man wearing hawaiian themed clothes.</p><p>"You can tell by the brightness of the flowers on his shirt that he has made some questionable choices in life," she explained.</p><p>"Yeah and look at that fisher," Fat Amy added, pointing further away, "He's been sitting there for hours without catching a single fish. I bet he hasn't had sex in months,"</p><p>"Oh my stars,"</p><p>"At the very least," Amy added, nodding convincingly to herself, "Maybe I could do him charity-"</p><p>"Stay put," Beca both glared and begged with her eyes for Amy to not get up and do yet again something stupid.</p><p>"Becs, aren't you gonna get into the water at all?" Chloe asked, staring at the girl pleadingly.</p><p>"I hate getting wet,"</p><p>"Said no woman ever," that earned Amy a nudge in the ribs from CR, although her knowing look was telling her she was right.</p><p>"Well, you better get your ass up because by the end of the day, I will get you wet one way or another," Chloe stated firmly, crossing her arms over her chest, "That was meant in a non sexual way, mostly,"</p><p>"Hold on, what could possibly be sexual about that sentence?" Emily queried in confusion and almost panic, clearly not getting the sexual innuendos in the girls' conversation... as always.</p><p>"Nothing. There was nothing sexual about it," the DJ quickly responded as the heat rose to her cheeks, "Can we change the subject? Do you think Stacie and uhm, her surfer friend will last?"</p><p>"Which one?" CR asked.</p><p>"The one she was with earlier,"</p><p>"Which one?" CR repeated.</p><p>"Wow,"</p><p>The girls watched as Aubrey, Jessica, Ashley and Flo got out of the water. Flo, Jessica and Ashley were visibly ecstatic, while Aubrey looked bummed and defeated.</p><p>"We won!" Jessica sang happily as they reached the umbrella.</p><p>"The sweet taste of victory was almost worth standing in a practical pool of fish pee and toxic garbage," Flo stated proudly.</p><p>"Which we also call ocean..." Ashley completed.</p><p>"Yeah brag all you want! I only lost because my team was scattered!" Aubrey complained, running a hand through her blonde locks, "Stacie is off with that Rick guy and Lily... I have no idea where she's gone!"</p><p>"Rick? Is he the second surfer?" Beca looked at CR for confirmation.</p><p>"No, I think that was Dave,"</p><p>"Dave? I saw her with a Marcus," Emily intervened.</p><p>"Damn, that girl really has game," CR thought out loud.</p><p>"Em," the DJ called, squinting at the younger girl for a second, "Have you put sunscreen on at all? C'mere,"</p><p>"I have..." Emily mumbled, but leaned down anyway when Beca pulled a bottle of sunscreen out of her bag and applied more to the young girl's skin.</p><p>"Sunburn is a bitch, Emily, you don't wanna end up like Fat Amy's morning toasts,"</p><p>"What's wrong with my toasties?"</p><p>"Nothing, Ames, they're just burnt enough to taste the pits of hell," Beca replied quickly, rubbing cream on Emily's face, "Alright, all good,"</p><p>"Thanks... But I feel all sticky now,"</p><p>"But you'll have soft skin for, like, a week," Emily beamed at that.</p><p>"Right! I'll go play beach volley now, see you guys later!" with that, the youngest Bella took off.</p><p>"Soft skin? Is that true?" CR asked.</p><p>"Probably not," Beca shrugged.</p><p>"Becs! Get in the water with meee," Chloe dragged out, pulling on the shorter girl's arm insistingly. The DJ sighed with an eye-roll, but eventually obliged and followed the redhead to the sea. She squirmed at the startling contact with the cold water, which Chloe didn't miss the chance to mock her for, "Don't be a baby, it's not that cold,"</p><p>"It is! I'm f-f-f-f-freezing!"</p><p>"You're not even halfway in!"</p><p>"That's what she said!" Fat Amy yelled from the shore.</p><p>"How did she even hear us over there?" Chloe muttered to herself in wonder.</p><p>"Chloe, I changed my mind, it's too cold," Beca said firmly, hugging her own body in an attempt to keep herself warm. She expected the ginger to roll her eyes and insist, but instead Chloe said blankly, "Okay. I can't really force you if you're not comfortable,"</p><p>"Really?" Beca frowned in surprise.</p><p>"Yeah,"</p><p>"That's very considerate of you, Chlo, thank-" she was cut off by a giant splash in her face, wetting her from head to toe. Of course.</p><p>"Ah, you bitch!"</p><p>"Now you have no choice but to join me," Chloe smiled. As Beca stood there, trying to get the salty water out of her eyes, she would curse the wind that was hitting her. It's common knowledge that when you're drenched in water and the wind hits you, you'll only get colder. She might as well just dive into the water and warm up before she got pneumonia.</p><p>"I'm gonna get back at you, that's a promise," Beca swore as she lowered in the water, glaring at her co-captain the whole time. Chloe opened her mouth to make a smartass remark, but was interrupted by another big splash towering over the pair, accompanied by the cry of "Fat Amy's coming for your wigs, pitches!"</p><p>Beca grunted and pushed her dripping hair back, squeezing her eyes, "Why do people keep splashing me?!" she complained, even more annoyed when she noticed Chloe wasn't really struck by Fat Amy's tsunami, she got all of it.</p><p>"Hey, look on the bright side, you're like Moana," Chloe shrugged, then turned to the Australian who had just come back up to the surface.</p><p>"Ames, what did you mean by 'coming for your wigs'?"</p><p>"It's slang,"</p><p>"What does it mean?"</p><p>"I have no idea," the blonde replied with a shrug, "But it sounded right,"</p><p>"Guys... something brushed my ankle..." Beca said lowly, staring down.</p><p>"It was probably seaweed, or little fish," Chloe dismissed, Amy nodding in agreement.</p><p>"What if it's jellyfish? I-I can't be stung, that seems so painful!"</p><p>"You're scared of jellyfish? Gurl, never come to Australia," Fat Amy laughed, "Even mosquitos can kill you there. We eat jellyfish for breakfast. I remember when I had to fight a crocodile at a nudist beach, hunty was no joke but I crushed it like a cracker-" Beca squealed in a high pitch.</p><p>"It touched me again!"</p><p>"Beca, you're being overdramatic- AH!"</p><p>"It touched you too?!"</p><p>"Guys..." Amy trailed.</p><p>"I'm getting out of here!"</p><p>"Samesies!"</p><p>"GUYS!" Amy called a little louder, causing them both to face her in silence.</p><p>"Do you think it was a bad idea having ice cream before bath?" the Aussie said blankly, fueling Beca's fury. The brunette wanted to smack her for stopping them from getting away JUST to ask that. Chloe had to hold her back a bit.</p><p>Just as the three of them got back to the shore, they saw Lily resurface in the same spot they were in, wearing a mask and mouthpiece.</p><p>"What?" Beca whispered to herself, watching the girl walk towards them.</p><p>"Lily, was it you earlier in the water?" Chloe quizzed, earning a nod from the black haired girl and a sigh of relief from the DJ.</p><p>"See, Becs? There was nothing to be worried about,"</p><p>"I was looking for the lethal scorpion I released in the water," Lily whispered, making Beca's heart stop and Chloe gulp. The DJ, now fuming, slowly turned to the ginger, who was scratching her neck sheepishly.</p><p>"Hehe... oops?"<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>****</strong><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"This trip was great after all, wasn't it?" Chloe questioned the group when they were on their way home.</p><p>"I lost my lighter somewhere at the beach and panicked, given my bad history with fire," CR commented.</p><p>"I fed a pidgeon," Flo said.</p><p>"That's sweet!" Emily smiled.</p><p>"Then it took off and pooped on me in the process. An accurate yet  metaphorical representation of my life," the Guatemalan girl added with an unimpressed face.</p><p>"Oh,"</p><p>"I didn't win any of the games we played despite being the most determined one and definitely not the weak link," Aubrey huffed, still bitter about it.</p><p>"I have been stung by jellyifish, twice. And the worst part is that's the most acknowledgment I've gotten all day,"</p><p>"Don't be so dramatic, Jessica,"</p><p>"I'm Ashley,"</p><p>"I have made a new friend," Emily grinned happily.</p><p>"Nope! No, I don't wanna hear it, you're too young to date," Beca stated protectively, pointing at the taller girl, who frowned.</p><p>"He's five,"</p><p>"Even worse!" Amy added, making the group laugh.</p><p>"Well, I definitely have made friends who weren't five," Stacie smirked.</p><p>"Is there anyone on the beach you haven't hooked up with?" CR asked the tall brunette, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>"Please, she's probably fucked the seven dwarves too," Amy said in a matter-of-factly voice.</p><p>"Amy!" Aubrey hissed, "Don't use that word when Emily's around,"</p><p>"Sorry, Legacy," the Australian rolled her eyes, "She's probably done the hanky panky with the seven dwarves too," she rectified, making most of the group cringe.</p><p>"What about you, BM? Learned something new?" everyone turned to the small DJ, who was once again sitting in the front with Chloe, one earbud plugged in her ear.</p><p>"Well... I guess I've learned that the beach isn't always so bad, except when your friend unleashes a lethal scorpion in the water," she said blankly, "Which I still have a lot to say about, but it doesn't matter now that you caught it," she said to Lily.</p><p>"I actually haven't found him,"</p><p>The bus halted as Fat Amy pushed on the brakes. The girls looked at one another in silence, all of them wide eyed.</p><p>"Should we go back to the beach?" CR whispered, followed by a general pause.</p><p>The silence was suddenly broken by Chloe, who had pretty much all eyes on her as the captain and decision maker of the group.</p><p>"Yeah, let's make this fun day even longer!" she squealed eagerly as everyone else groaned.</p><p>They were complaining on the surface, but deep inside they all loved one another to bits and enjoyed spending time among the group. Whether they were singing together or chasing scorpions.</p><p>Yes, 'scorpions', plural. But they didn't know that yet.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Zombie Apocalypse, kind Of?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This pretty much doesn't make any sense. But hopefully in a good way. Enjoy!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rattling of the wind against the windows was the only audible sound on Thursday night. No events around campus, no cars passing by, no frat parties.</p><p>The Barden Bellas wouldn't be able to hear the creaking of dry leaves on their yard. They wouldn't be able to pick up on the stomping and dragging of feet on the grass, nor on the odd groans coming from foreign mouths.</p><p>Young Emily and Cynthia-Rose were in the living room, watching a horror movie on the couch. Cynthia-Rose was focused on the screen, while Emily could barely pay attention. She resorted to hiding behind her own brown locks when the movie got too scary to handle, and got called a 'wimp' by the older girl a lot for it.</p><p>"Relax, kid, this is all fake. None of it would ever happen in real life," CR assured.</p><p>"I know, but... there's so much blood!"</p><p>"Oh, you can't be that phased by blood, you're a woman," CR reasoned, "Plus, that's fake blood. Probably cherry jam, for that matter,"</p><p>"Right. You're right, it's stupid," Emily nodded firmly. She would have believed her fellow Bella's words, if a mid-decomposition head hadn't appeared out the window. The brunette squeaked.</p><p>"Z-z-z-z..." she stuttered out in panic, with wide eyes and pointing a trembling finger to the window.</p><p>"What? What did you-" CR didn't even need to complete the question as her eyes followed the girl's finger.</p><p>"ZOMBIE!" Emily shouted finally, as fear rose in both of them.</p><p>"Uh-uh, no way, that must be a Treblemaker pranking us," CR reasoned.</p><p>"He's eating a leg!" Emily pointed out as her heart jumped to her throat. That's right, the zombie was apparently snacking on a bare leg mindlessly. The two girls shared a fearful look and screamed at the same time, the noise getting everyone's attention upstairs. Eight tired Bellas rushed down to figure what was going on, Beca barely had the time to ask that before Emily blurt out the word 'zombie', backed up by Cynthia Rose's nods.<br/>
Of course, Beca's first instinct was to call bullshit.</p><p>"Guys, there's no way-" Beca's eye landed on the zombie still crunching on the leg as if it was a chicken nugget, "Yep, that's definitely a zombie," she nodded in confirmation, looking at the others, "We're screwed,"<br/>
"That's a really odd diet" Flo commented out of the blue.</p><p>"That's all you're gonna say?!" Ashley yelled in panic.</p><p>"I knew Doomsday would come soon... My abuelo had warned me. Although I thought it would happen because of global warming or the president sending troops to do the dirty work. Or because of the air poisoning, pollution-"</p><p>"We get it, Flo, you've seen it coming," Fat Amy interrupted, annoyed.</p><p>"I can't die today. I have an appointment at the hair salon tomorrow,"</p><p>"I can't believe you're worrying about that, Stacie," said CR.</p><p>"It's not like I can postpone it! They're very busy in the weekends," the taller brunette huffed, shrugging her shoulders.</p><p>"Well I ain't gonna stay here while y'all get eaten. I need to take cover, black people are always the first victims in horror movies,"</p><p>"Hey! I'm latina, directors are against me too!"</p><p>"Well, I'm also gay so my minority meter is higher than yours!"</p><p>"Guys!" Beca cut in, "Does that really matter right now? The last thing we need is to throw a hissy fit over nothing. Besides, the first kill is the couple having sex usually. While the virgin carries on,"</p><p>"Great, so does that mean Legacy is the only one who's gonna survive this shit?" Fat Amy complained, gesturing towards the brunette who was still shaking, now in Chloe's arms.</p><p>"Ladies, no one's gonna die. If we stay united, we will ace this. Besides, that zombie seems harmless enough, doesn't it?" The ginger encouraged, glancing at the undead.</p><p>"First of all, no one says 'ace' in the 21st century. Second of all, that zombie may be a crackhead but the hoarde that's coming towards the house seems pretty intimidating," Fat Amy commented, making everyone notice the sudden crowd of zombies gathering around the house.</p><p>"What do we do?!" Emily asked, anxiously.</p><p>"I say we pack up a shitload of food and escape through the backdoor,"</p><p>"They're probably at the backdoor too, Amy. I don't think they know what a front door is and what it's used for," Beca stated, moments before the doorbell rang.</p><p>"Did they just... ring the doorbell?" Chloe frowned.</p><p>"Okay, maybe they do know what a front door is," Beca rectified, shaking her head awkwardly.</p><p>"I think we should collect weaponry and kick those <em>gilipollas</em> in the <em>nalgas</em>!"</p><p>"I don't know what 'nalgas' means but she's right, we should fight," Chloe agreed.</p><p>"It means 'buttocks'. I've dated a Mexican guy a few years back. We loved dirty talk," Stacie rambled.</p><p>"Enough!" the DJ exclaimed, "We should aim to neutralize them before the shit really hits the fan. Gathering weapons is the best option we have for now, so let's split up and do that,"</p><p>"Are you bonkers? You should NEVER split up in this kind of situations!" Jessica said. Or was it Ashley? We'll go with Jessica.</p><p>"Chill, the zombies are outside the house. Until they learn to pick a lock, we're safe," the brunette replied, surprisingly calm. <br/>
She wasn't worried about them breaking the window either. If that window could take Lily's throwing knives without cracking, it could be deemed bulletproof. Beca reluctantly took the lead and gave out directions as to where each Bella should head to, and soon enough they were meeting up back into the living room for the report.</p><p>They had kitchen knives, a butcher knife, a baseball bat, a few hockey bats and a baton. Beca raised an eyebrow when Stacie brought the baton, but decided not to comment on it.</p><p>"I guess we could use all of this to fight them motherfuckers," the DJ stated, placing her hands on her hips as she watched the equipment on the coffee table.</p><p>"Or we could use my firecrackers," everyone turned to look at Lily.</p><p>"And my set of knives. And my pocket bazooka,"</p><p>"Bazooka?!" Emily repeated.</p><p>"<em>Pocket</em>?!" CR echoed.</p><p>"Where did you hide all that stuff?" Chloe asked in disbelief.</p><p>"In the panic room," was the quiet reply.</p><p>"We have a panic room?!" all the Bellas yelled in unison.</p><p>"Why do we need a picnic room?" Flo asked in confusion.</p><p>"No, Flo, it's 'panic'," CR said.</p><p>"Yes I'm hispanic, what does it have to do with picnics?"</p><p>"We really need to get back on those English lessons,"</p><p>"Girls, focus," Chloe called, "Pick up one or two weapons each, we're gonna give the walking dead out there a lesson they won't forget. Or they will cause, y'know, they have no brains,"</p><p>"Wait," Stacie said, as every Bella held their weapons (plus Lily's additional treasures), "Shouldn't we, like... turn the tv on and see if there's an epidemic around the world?"</p><p>"Yeah, or call the police? 911? The firefighters? Someone?" Emily added in concern, wanting to cover all the bases.</p><p>"And miss out on a badass montage where I jigsaw the hell out of those zombies' heads? Hell nah," Fat Amy replied, revving up her new found Jigsaw.</p><p>"Where'd you find that?" Beca quizzed, frowning.</p><p>"Ah, it was just lying on the floor untouched,"</p><p>Jigsaw ex-machina.</p><p>"This is completely irrational," Emily reasoned.</p><p>"I know right, here's a lighter and an hairspray can, do what you must," the Aussie threw said objects at the younger girl before she could object, then ran towards the front door with some sort of battle cry.</p><p>"I guess we're rolling with it," Stacie hummed with a shrug before running after the Australian, the others following suit.</p><p>*****</p><p>"In our defense, how were we supposed to know it was a prank?" Chloe told the cop that was questioning the group. Turns out, it really was a prank all along. The zombies were nothing but some boys from Barden throwing a prank, using very realistic fake limbs.</p><p>"Ma'am, I could spend hours listing ways you could have known," the cop replied blankly.</p><p>"Why are we all here, though? I barely gave the guy a concussion," Beca spoke up, referring to one of the alleged zombies with her baseball bat.</p><p>"You're here because your friendly kangaroo here chopped off a student's ear with a jigsaw, and almost killed him,"</p><p>"First of all, the kangaroo part is racist," Fat Amy objected, "Second of all, I thought he was gonna bite me! I mean, wouldn't be the first time I have that effect on men, but he legit wanted to eat me," Beca cringed at that, as did the cop.</p><p>"But why is it a big deal? That Van Gogh look is charming!"</p><p>"Ma'am, I suggest you don't make it worse," the middle aged man advised, then proceeded to look at the mysterious black haired girl that was fixing her fringe with a small brush.</p><p>"And you... we need to question about some of the weapons that appear to be your property,"</p><p>"They're just hobbies... for the most part," the girl said.</p><p>"Where did you get those?"</p><p>"We live in the America. She probably found them at Walmart," Flo muttered.</p><p>"Target," Lily corrected.</p><p>"What about the bazooka?" The cop queried.</p><p>"A gift from a friend,"</p><p>"Their name?"</p><p>"Doesn't have one,"</p><p>"Sir, can we just go? You confiscate what you have to, we'll pay for the poor guy's physical and emotional damage, but I plead you... it's four AM," Beca begged.</p><p>"You know what? You're free to go, we're pretty busy tonight. You know, with the zombie apocalypse and all,"</p><p>"Hold up, did you just say there's an ACTUAL zombie apocalypse going on?" Beca furrowed her eyebrows, unsure of what she'd just heard.</p><p>"Yeah. I guess those boys got inspired,"</p><p>"What the fuck?!" Beca exclaimed in disbelief.</p><p>"What the fork?!" Emily exclaimed at the same time.</p><p>"<em>Que chingados</em>?!" Flo also yelled at the same time.</p><p>"Dude, are you kidding me?!" Stacie raised her voice, "At this rate I will never get to go to my hairdresser!"</p><p>"That's what you're concerned about?!" Emily countered, wide eyed.</p><p>"Cut it, Legacy, we've already established that you're the virgin and you will get through this in one piece, give it a rest, " Fat Amy rolled her eyes.</p><p>"At least we won't need to worry about getting a discount at the supermarket now. Stealing just became legit, right?" Flo questioned, "Because you have no idea how many <em>putas</em> have accused me of stealing stuff from the shelves just because I'm Latina,"</p><p>"Actually, they accused you because I may have told them you're cleptomaniac," Fat Amy replied sheepishly, scratching the back of her neck.</p><p>"What? Why?"</p><p>"So that you would distract them while I stole their stuff instead. I'm the cleptomaniac one,"</p><p>"You're aware you're saying that in a police station?!" Emily said, putting her hands on her face.</p><p>"Nah it's cool, society is about to change drastically anyway," the cop shrugged.</p><p>"Time to exploit the apocalypse and crush the patriarchy..." Flo mumbled.</p><p>"We should totes get home now, we're way past Emily's curfew," Chloe announced, glancing at her watch.</p><p>"Are you implying that my curfew is still valid during the end of the world?!"</p><p>"It will be valid until the end of me, Emily," Beca replied in a parent-like tone, "Now let's go,"</p><p>As the group left the police station, they were grateful their path was clear of the undead. But they certainly had an odd way to approach the apocalypse... which was pretty much the equivalent of not approaching it. Once they adjusted to it, their lives became almost normal again. Sometimes Lily would set fire to a zombie and Amy would use it to roast marshmallows, or Stacie and Chloe would draw in a bunch of infected for cardio, or Ashley and Jessica would... well, no one really knew what they did, but everyone assumed they did something too, sometimes.</p><p>Beca, for one, didn't care that much about the unexpected scenario they were living in. After all, it was still better than attending college.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Freaky Thursday ~ Part 1.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>It was far from quiet in the Bellas house at Barden University on Wednesday evening.</p>
<p>A storm was raging outside as Beca and Aubrey had their umpteenth disagreement, screaming obscenities at one another. The rest of the team, not knowing what to do to break them up, tried to wait it out - except for Fat Amy, who had made popcorn for the occasion.</p>
<p>"You never clean after yourself! Ever! Chloe might let that slide because for some absurd reason she thinks you're hot, but you can't fool me!" Aubrey yelled, sending a rush of heat to the redhead's cheeks.</p>
<p>"How am I supposed to clean after myself when we practise 24/7?! Maybe if you left me a minute to breathe-"</p>
<p>"Guys, stop now!" Chloe cut in, backed up by the sound of thunder, "Oh, that was empowering," she muttered before shaking her head and looking back at the two girls.</p>
<p>"You can't do this every single day,"</p>
<p>"Yeah, we're running out of butter," Fat Amy hummed, pointing to her popcorn.<br/>"You make them with butter?" CR asked. <br/>"Yeah I have a popcorn machine in my room. Used my little cousin's college fund. Before y'all come for me, I asked him first and he said 'da', which means yes in Russian," <br/>"He's Russian?" <br/>"No, he's 2 months old," <br/>"I agree with Chloe, I'm tired of the continuous wars between you," Flo said, ignoring the side conversation that was happening with Fat Amy, "Especially since the USA are probably getting into an actual war with Russia-"</p>
<p>"I'll just cut to the chase," Chloe interrupted, "You two need to sort your problems out without ripping each other's head up if we want to live in harmony,"</p>
<p>Another thunder struck.</p>
<p>"You woke up everyone in the house," Stacie complained, raising an eyebrow at her captains.</p>
<p>"That's not true," Beca retorted, "Emily couldn't sleep because of the storm so she was already down here, and Lily was..."</p>
<p>"Chasing ghosts," the dark haired girl completed quietly, holding up her radar.</p>
<p>"Yeah that," the DJ nodded, unconvincingly.</p>
<p>"Well, I don't care, it disrupted my beauty sleep,"</p>
<p>"So they happened to pick the only night you actually use your bed for sleeping?" Fat Amy joked, earning a slap on the arm from the leggy brunette.</p>
<p>"So?" Chloe looked at her co-captain and former captain expectantly.</p>
<p>Beca crossed her arms with a huff, so did Aubrey.</p>
<p>"My parents divorced,"</p>
<p>"You can't use that as an excuse for everything!" Aubrey glared.</p>
<p>"Why not?! Chloe made us do her chores when she had nodes!"</p>
<p>"Hey!" the redhead crossed her arms, "That was a medical emergency,"</p>
<p>"Oh, well, is it a medical emergency when I have a pain in my ass? Because that's Aubrey Posen," Beca retorted.</p>
<p>"You little-"</p>
<p>"Enough!" Chloe groaned once again, "I'm sick of this. Apologize to each other, kiss and make up. It's already late enough and I need to be up early for my Russian Lit lecture,"</p>
<p>"You never attend Russian Lit," CR frowned.</p>
<p>"That's the best excuse I could think of on the spot," the ginger shrugged.</p>
<p>Beca and Aubrey had a glare-off before they both turned on their heels and yelled something along the lines of 'wouldn't be caught dead shaking that thing's hand' and flipping each other off. The rest of the Bellas sighed and groaned as they went back upstairs, hoping they'd be able to get at least a couple of hours of sleep.</p>
<p>Emily and Lily were the only ones left downstairs, standing in an awkward silence.</p>
<p>"So... are you trying to catch the spirit of someone you've killed?" Emily joked, trying to break the ice.</p>
<p>"I haven't killed anyone," Lily replied.</p>
<p>"Yeah that was a joke-"</p>
<p>"Recently," that shut the younger girl up for good.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>The lights were out and everyone was fast asleep until the breaks of dawn, when the girls began to yawn and stir in their respective beds.</p>
<p>Beca was the first to wake up, blinking and grunting as she sat up in her bed. She rubbed her face, wondering why the hell she was awake before her alarm went off, but she also knew she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep any time soon, despite being a heavy sleeper.</p>
<p>She got up, ready to make a beeline for the bathroom, but she quickly noticed there were no clothes thrown all over the floor. That was weird, did Fat Amy finally start to tidy up? Very unlikely. Chances were it was a miracle.</p>
<p>The brunette just shrugged it off until she spotted a streak of red in the corner of the eye. She squinted her eyes at the figure laying in the other bed. Chloe? Had she slept there? Did she switch with Fat Amy for the night? Maybe she had a fight with Aubrey...</p>
<p>Maybe it was Chloe who picked up Fat Amy's shit from the floor then.</p>
<p>Beca decided not to question it any further and stepped out of the door.</p>
<p>"Ah, my phone," as she walked back into the room and reached into her nightstand, however, she found a phone that certainly didn't belong to her. And that's how even in her slumbered state she realized that wasn't her nightstand either. Nor her room.</p>
<p>"What the... what," she muttered under her breath. What the hell was going on?</p>
<p>Luckily, Chloe's alarm went off while the brunette contemplated waking her up for answers. The ginger stirred and turned it off before rolling on her side, facing the brunette with her eyes still shut.</p>
<p>"Morning, Bree," she mumbled.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I'm not Aubrey," Chloe frowned and opened her eyes.</p>
<p>"Did you change your name overnight?" the ginger asked playfully. Beca frowned at that. the redhead was staring right into her eyes, how could she possibly not realize...</p>
<p>"Nice one, Chlo. Now, mind telling me why i'm in your room?" as Beca pronounced those words, she reckoned she sounded weird. That wasn't her voice. She instinctively brought a hand to her throat as the ginger shook her head.</p>
<p>"I have no idea what you're talking about, Bree,"</p>
<p>"Stop calling me that! I do not associate with General Posen!"</p>
<p>"You talk like Beca," the DJ was about to reply, but was cut off by a loud, high pitched scream coming from the bathroom.</p>
<p>In less than ten seconds, what looked like an out of her mind Beca Mitchell entered the room. Key word, 'looked like'.</p>
<p>"What the aca-hell just happened!" she exclaimed, slightly out of breath and wide eyed, glancing frenetically back and forth between Chloe and... herself?</p>
<p>"HOLY MOLI CANNOLI!" she yelled again as she stared at her... clone?</p>
<p>"Ok first of all, stop talking about food before I've had my breakfast, I'm pretty hungry," Beca started, trying to brush off her own shock. Or dwell in denial and convince herself she's hallucinating, that sounds good too, "Second of all... SHIT!"</p>
<p>"Guys, I'm a 'lil confused here... what's going on?" the redhead questioned as she sat up straighter in her bed, now wide awake.</p>
<p>"I think I'm having a panic attack," Aubrey blurt out, placing a hand on her chest and closing her eyes as she took deep breaths.</p>
<p>"Hey, no, easy there... let's not get too overwhelmed, this is probably a dream anyway, right?" Beca tried to reason, reaching out to grab the blonde's- well, now brunette's - arms in a comforting way.</p>
<p>"A dream? This is a nightmare!" Aubrey shrieked, running a hand through her hair, "God, you haven't even used conditioner!"</p>
<p>"I couldn't find it, okay?! Amy lost it when she threw a foam party in the bathroom!"</p>
<p>"How are you not panicking right now?!</p>
<p>"Because I know this isn't real!" Beca countered, with attitude, "It's... it's definitely a dream that we're both having at the same time. It's happened before, there are studies that prove it,"</p>
<p>"That's your best guess?"</p>
<p>"Or... we may be high. Like, Alice In Wonderland high. Maybe Fat Amy put some special ingredients in Jessica's brownies last night," <br/>"That's impossible, Jessica doesn't let her near her baking soda after last month's incident," Aubrey countered, agitated. <br/>"Can someone explain to me what's going on?" Chloe repeated, looking at the pair expectantly, clearly confused. Beca opened her mouth to explain, again, and again she was interrupted by someone bursting through the door.</p>
<p>"We heard yelling, what's going on?" It was Cynthia-Rose, Stacie and Flo.</p>
<p>"We've exchanged bodies. Me and Aubrey," Beca said, waving her pointing finger between herself and the Bella in question.</p>
<p>"Yeah right," Stacie deadpanned, "That happens to me all the time. Right now it's Eva Longoria speaking,"</p>
<p>"It's true!" Aubrey cried, "Gosh, I think I may throw up..."</p>
<p>"Not in body, no way!"<br/>"Did Beca just say 'gosh'?" CR whispered.</p>
<p>"As if you take care of yourself properly! Lucky for me I haven't opened your closet, I'm sure I would've had a stroke!"</p>
<p>"My closet?! At least I don't dress like a fifty years old with seven cats whose biggest joy in life is looking after her garden and who runs a book club for women who have never drunk anything alcoholic but bland wine!"</p>
<p>"That was oddly specific," Flo commented quietly.</p>
<p>"A book club?! I'm surprised you even know what a book is, the most reading I've seen you do was the booklet of that garage band you like, and I'm not even sure those hooligans spelled their lyrics correctly!"</p>
<p>"You two need to draw back your claws, damn," Cynthia-Rose cut in, "You're gonna push each other off a cliff, at this rate,"</p>
<p>"Now I have no doubt, I recognize Bec's unapologetic sass," Stacie added, pointing at Beca with her thumb.</p>
<p>"Why are you all being so loud?" Fat Amy asked grumpily as she walked into the now almost filled up room, "the last time I've heard this much yelling Bumper and I were-"</p>
<p>"Jesus, Amy, we don't wanna hear it!" Beca interrupted, squeezing her eyes and running her hands through her hair.</p>
<p>"Don't worry, Aubrey, he's not distracting me from the Bellas. We aren't even emotionally involved, or at least I'm not. I told him no strings attached, the only thing you should hold close to your heart is your boobs,"</p>
<p>"Preach," Stacie agreed.</p>
<p>"Okay, um, she's not me," Aubrey started, pointing at Beca, "But for maybe the first time ever, I do agree with her. Please don't go any further into your story,"</p>
<p>"BM, why do you look scarier than usual?" the Australian asked with a questioning frown.</p>
<p>"I do not!"</p>
<p>"She does not!"</p>
<p>"Long story short, they swapped bodies," Stacie summed up.</p>
<p>"Oh, alright. That's it?"</p>
<p>"And we're going to Applebees,"</p>
<p>"Oh my god!" the blonde yelped, now beaming, "You should have told me sooner! I'm gonna get dressed,"</p>
<p>"You can't be serious..." Aubrey refrained from shouting, speaking through gritted teeth, "She just told you we swapped bodies!"</p>
<p>"Okay calm down!" Amy replied, holding her hands up in defeat, "let's get to the bottom of this then. Did you have fortune cookies?"</p>
<p>"This is not Freaky Friday," Cynthia-Rose commented, frowning up at Amy.</p>
<p>"I know, it's Thursday!"</p>
<p>"I'm still confused, whose shower did I sneak into?" Chloe said from her bed.</p>
<p>"That was Beca, Chloe, and it happened ages ago," Aubrey replied, rolling her eyes.</p>
<p>"I meant this Monday,"</p>
<p>"W-what?" everyone looked at Beca, whose face was beet red.</p>
<p>"This isn't the best time to question me!" the DJ shouted back, "How the fuck do we turn back?!"<br/>"We need to go to the hospital," Aubrey said, struggling to breathe through her nose. <br/>"Oh yeah, if we tell them we swapped bodies they'll definitely take us in. To psychiatry!" Beca countered. <br/>"We'll, who do we call then? The FBI?" The CIA?"<br/>"Not the CIA, they killed my people," Flo said, earning a bunch of puzzled looks. <br/>"I know a magical ritual to swap you back," Lily spoke up, making everyone notice her in the room, "But I'm gonna need a few days to get everything ready, you can try to wait it out in the meantime,"</p>
<p>"Wait, how do you know magic rites?" Flo quizzed.</p>
<p>"I am half a witch,"</p>
<p>"Oh... I guess-"</p>
<p>"And half a lycan,"</p>
<p>"I'm half redhead, my woman is a ginger but my dad is brunette,"Chloe confessed.</p>
<p>"That's not how it works," Cynthia-Rose shook her head at the older girl.</p>
<p>"Great, so I have to be Aubrey for a few days?!"</p>
<p>"And I have to be the midget?!"</p>
<p>"Can we go to Applebees now?"</p>
<p>"Shut up Amy!" the girls said in unison.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>"How did your first day as Beca go?" Chloe asked as she got ready for bed.</p>
<p>"Terribly," Aubrey replied matter-of-factly as she paced around their room, "Her workplace smells like weed and classic rock. Her notebooks are clear of any notes. Her body - let's not even get started on it,"</p>
<p>"Okay,"</p>
<p>"She clearly lied about the cardio excercises!" Aubrey huffed, contradicting herself, "and she's so short, I feel like I've gone from Arnold Schwarznegger to Denny Devito!"</p>
<p>"Hey, hey, hey, Beca is stunning, " Chloe argued, "If anything she's Leonardo Dicaprio. With those piercing blue eyes, and her-"</p>
<p>"Okay you can stop there, I didn't mean it like that," Aubrey sighed, "I meant that I'm so small now that anyone could easily squash me. And her sight is so bad! Why doesn't she wear glasses?"</p>
<p>"She says she would look like a hipster," Chloe shrugged, causing Aubrey to raise an eyebrow.</p>
<p>"Have you SEEN her wardrobe?" Aubrey countered in disbelief, voice dripping with sarcasm. Then she started stripping out of her shirt to get in her - or, well, Beca's - PJs, "Whatever, this will be over soon,"</p>
<p>"Yeah..." when Aubrey turned back around, she found Chloe staring at her in an odd way she couldn't decipher. She frowned in confusion... until it clicked.</p>
<p>"Oh my god, Chloe! Stop!" she squeaked, eyes wide and cheeks red as she quickly slid her pajama top on.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry!"</p>
<p>"No you're not!"</p>
<p>"No I'm not..." Chloe confirmed, trying not to sound too shameful, but not breaking her stare nonetheless, "Well, goodnight!"</p>
<p>"Are you just gonna brush me off like that?"</p>
<p>"Yep," Chloe turned off the bedside lamp once she was tucked into her bed. Aubrey let out a frustrated groan and got in her own bed, hoping she would manage to fall asleep soon.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>"So are you holding up in General Posen's body?" Fat Amy asked as she sat down on her bed. <br/>Beca was sitting criss-crossed in her own bed, in Aubrey's night gown, playing around with some mixes on her laptop. She slid her headphones down to her neck and sighed.</p>
<p>"Not good. I was forced to go to her lectures this morning and I still don't know what major she's taking. it's probably one of the very specific ones with unnecessarily long titles," Beca shrugged, "Like, a branch of something really boring,"</p>
<p>"Beca, it's Law. How did you not realize?"</p>
<p>"I don't know, I fell asleep five minutes into the first lecture,"</p>
<p>"Ha! Sarge will kill you and have your head on a stick," Fat Amy snickered.</p>
<p>"I recorded everything, though!" Beca defended, "Anyway, Lily told me that since this all started during a storm, we're gonna need another lightning to swap back,"</p>
<p>"I could get in touch with Chris Hemsworth if you want. We used to be pretty... intimate," Amy said with a weird wink.</p>
<p>"First of all, Chris Hemsworth is not actually the god of thunder, second of all... do you honestly expect me to believe that?" Beca asked, cocking an eyebrow at her friend, "I mean, you hooked up with his brother Liam, you wouldn't do that..." she added in a mumble.<br/>"Uh, his older brother Luke would like to disagree. We had some really fun moments together. I revolutioned that spunk's down under, if you know what I mean," the aussie winked. <br/>"Jesus," <br/>"I meant his cock," <br/>"Yeah I figured," <br/>"You know, his third arm," <br/>"Please stop," <br/>"His dingo bingo, his crocodile rock,"<br/>"What?" <br/>"His whistle whistle. Just pretend I whistled, I'm not good at it. But I'm good at gobbies," <br/>"I don't wanna know what those are even though I think I do," <br/>"That's honorable of you. Well goodnight, shawshank. Sweet dreams, don't let the bed bugs bite you!" <br/>"If they can bite me out of this body, be my guest," Beca replied, before drifting off to sleep.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. In The Closet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Dude keep quiet!" <br/>"I am!" <br/>"No you're not! I swear if we get killed... I'm gonna kill you," <br/>"Harsh threat, shawshank," <br/>The two Bellas were struggling to fit in their closet. It was quite the big closet, but Fat Amy's clothes took up a lot of space - albeit she'd stubbornly blame the lack of it on Beca's single pair of Vans.<br/>No, they were not playing hide and seek. Unless there's a dark, twisted version where you chase people with an axe, which is what seemed to be currently happening. That's right, the girls saw a masked intruder in the Bellas house, threateningly wielding an axe. Their first instinct was to lock up.<br/>"Are you calling 911?" Beca whispered, looking over her friend's shoulder while she typed on her iPhone.</p>
<p>"No,"</p>
<p>"Then who?"</p>
<p>"I'm clearing my search history," the blonde shook her head.</p>
<p>"What?!" the brunette whisper-yelled, her eyes widening in shock and anger.</p>
<p>"Yeah, if we get killed I don't want anyone to know what I've been looking through,"</p>
<p>"You- give me your phone!" the DJ reached for the device, but Amy was pushing her back.</p>
<p>"No way, shawshank!" their bickering was soon interrupted when they heard footsteps on the stairs. They both froze as they sensed them getting closer, and closer, until the bedroom door was suddenly opened. At this point the girls were holding their breaths and sweating cold, trying not to make the slightest sound.</p>
<p>The footsteps eventually got farther from them and the door was shut again, allowing them to breathe a sigh of relief.</p>
<p>"We need to call the police," Beca stated, firmer than before.</p>
<p>"Um, about that... my phone just died," Amy smiled awkwardly.</p>
<p>"What...?"</p>
<p>"Yeah we're stuck here,"</p>
<p>"Oh my god!" Beca rubbed her hands on her face, "Okay, it's okay, we just gotta get out of here and get my tablet Easy peasy. I left it charging so it should have enough battery,"</p>
<p>"Uh actually... I knew my phone wasn't gonna last long so I took your tablet off the charger and um, I was gonna replace it with mine,"</p>
<p>"You fucking what now?!"</p>
<p>"I'm sorry! I was gonna borrow your charger and then I went to the toilet and forgot to use it on mine,"</p>
<p>"So you're telling me we have two devices with no battery? Is that correct?"</p>
<p>"Hey, your tone seems very accusatory,"</p>
<p>"It is! Because you might have just trapped us!" Beca felt like yelling but knew she couldn't.</p>
<p>"Hey, let's tone it down a bit, shall we? It's not my fault that mother nature called at the wrong moment. Actually, if you think about it, you could have just bought one of those pocket chargers for emergencies,"</p>
<p>"Oh so it's my fault now?"</p>
<p>"I did not say that. But if we were to necessarily put the blame on someone, out of you and me... well, it ain't me,"</p>
<p>"I'm literally going to kill you!"</p>
<p>"You might wanna queue, the guy out there seems pretty determined!" Beca let out a frustrated groan as she ran her hands through her hair.</p>
<p>"Okay, plan B then. We just gotta go to Chloe's room and grab my phone. It's not that far away, shouldn't be too much work if we're silent," <br/>"Why is it in Chloe's room?" <br/>"Huh?" <br/>"Your phone, why's it in Chloe's room?" <br/>"Oh, yeah. Um it's... Colder there, you know, being the biggest room in the house," <br/>"Uh-uh," Fat Amy nodded unconvinced. <br/>"I've heard that cold is better, um, for phone battery,"<br/>"Or else the CPU would overheat, right?" <br/>"Exactly! Yeah, had to put it in the freezer once, ugh. Annoying," <br/>"Yeah. You know you're a terrible liar," <br/>"What?" <br/>"I know you're hooking up with the ginger, but you could've just said she borrowed your phone. That whole excuse was stupid. It was really weird, Beca," <br/>"Wait, how do you know about that?" <br/>"It's not hard to tell, I sort of have this sixth sense you know? You always go gaga for her at rehearsals. Plus I stole your phone a few weeks ago to   update your Twitter profile," <br/>"I don't have a Twitter profile," Beca frowned. <br/>"Now you do, and you have 986 followers already, you're welcome," Fat Amy replied, "and also to watch Netflix, because you know my phone can't hold the app. It's overloaded with files you are never to see," <br/>"I don't have Netflix either..." <br/>"I redownload it every time I use it, I leave no traces when I work. Come to think of it, how have you never noticed? Either I'm a ninja or you're kinda dumb," <br/>"Hey! I don't worry about my phone cause I have a password!" <br/>"And I have a friend in Bangladesh who's a professional hacker. And a hooker. Depends on the occasion," <br/>"Okay, whatever, we go to Chloe's room, get the phone, lock ourselves in and call the police first thing," <br/>"What if the killer's in her room?" Beca jolts up when Fat Amy gasps, "What if the killer is Chloe? That would mean you literally slept with the enemy," <br/>"You slept with your cousin," <br/>"He's my third cousin! It doesn't count!" <br/>"Yeah yeah. Back to the plan, if the intruder's there we... we need to go downstairs and run out. No stopping, no looking back, we just run to campus and call for help. Clear?"</p>
<p>"Beca, we can't do that!"</p>
<p>"Why not?"</p>
<p>"I left the chocolate cake on the kitchen table. If it stays out of the fridge too long, it will go to waste!"</p>
<p>"Jesus Christ!"</p>
<p>"He didn't bake that cake but I swear it's pretty damn close to heaven,"</p>
<p>"I'll buy you another cake! Just-"</p>
<p>"Pinky promise?"</p>
<p>"You're not serious right now,"</p>
<p>"You're right, I'm not. I would accidentally crush your little finger,"</p>
<p>"Oh my god, I hate you,"</p>
<p>"Wait, shh," Fat Amy pressed her index finger on Beca's lips, making the other girl narrow her eyes at her as she listened in. Footsteps again, this time more rushed. The door of the bedroom was opened, and before the two could do anything, the closet door was opened as well.</p>
<p>"Beca!" Chloe launched herself at the DJ, immediately wrapping her arms around her neck and burying her face in it, "Thank god you're okay!"</p>
<p>"Chlo... could say the same to you," Beca reciprocated, hugging the redhead's waist tightly.</p>
<p>"Amy, glad to see you're okay too!" Amy mocked, "Ah thanks ginger, I appreciate you caring,"</p>
<p>"Sorry Ames, I'm so happy you two are fine," Chloe pulled away a little and Beca turned to glare at the Australian. <br/>"I thought you'd locked the door!" <br/>"I-I did! But you have to understand everything is backwards in Australia, so maybe I turned the key in the other sense," Amy shrugged. <br/>"That's bullshit, but I'll let it slide since it was just Chloe," Amy smirked at that, but Beca brushed it off. <br/>"CR just called the police," the older Bella informed, "some of us are hiding in hers and Stacie's room," <br/>"Some? Who's missing?" the brunette asked in concern. <br/>"Flo, Lily, and either Jessica or Ashley" <br/>"Crap,"<br/>"Yeah, crap. What if they kill the missing one and we have to identify the body?" the Australian said, "Imagine getting it wrong and having to call one of their families saying, 'sorry folks, your daughter wasn't that headless carcass we told you about, our bad,'" <br/>"Yeah that's totally the problem," Beca ironised, frowning. <br/>"Enough of small talk, we need to go back to Stacie's," Chloe interrupted, pulling on the girls' arms. <br/>"Wait, we need to find the others," Beca stopped her. <br/>"Uh, do we?" Fat Amy muttered. <br/>"They'll be fine. Flo has been through persecution or something and I saw Lily singlehandedly taking down a gang of drug dealers once,"<br/>"What about Ashley and Jessica?" <br/>"Please, short stack, the killer won't even notice them," the blonde scoffed. <br/>The DJ swallowed the lump in her throat and reluctantly followed the two out of the room, trying to make as  little noise as possible.<br/>"There you guys are!" Stacie whispered in relief when the trio entered the room.<br/>"Yeah, we were worried!" Jessica (?) said. <br/>"Any idea what happened to the other Bellas?" <br/>Suddenly, a loud thump was heard downstairs. The girls glanced at one another before Emily bravely headed for the door. <br/>"Legacy, are you nuts?!" <br/>"Someone might have been hurt!" the tall brunette worriedly insisted, skipping out of the room. <br/>"Shit," Beca sighed in defeat before following suit. <br/>"<em>Cogete esto, hijo de puta! te doy una paliza que no te olvidaràs nunca, pendejo!" </em><br/>When they rushed into the living room, the girls stared in awe as Flo was hitting the intruder with a frying pan. <br/>Before anyone could jump in, the intruder then blocked the pan with a hand and took off their mask. <br/>Emily gasped. <br/>"Lily?" <br/>"Hi guys," the Asian girl greeted nonchalantly. <br/>"What does this mean? You were the intruder the whole time?" Beca inquired in shock and confusion. <br/>"I was just doing a job," <br/>"Why the mask? Why the axe?" <br/>"It's for a sacrifice to my demon ancestors. The mask is traditional," <br/>"Oh," Beca simply said, "what, uh, kind of sacrifice is it?" <br/>"Where's Ashley?" Emily whispered. Beca's heart skipped out of her chest as she noticed the fresh blood on Lily's weapon. <br/>"Lily... Y-you haven't..." <br/>"Guys!" Ashley got out of a cupboard and joined the girls in the living room, "is it over? We're safe?" <br/>The Bellas sighed in relief when they saw her. <br/>"We are. I guess this was all a misunderstanding... The cops will be here any moment, though, so I would hide that axe," the DJ said. <br/>"Was it Lily?" Fat Amy shouted from upstairs, "I knew she was gonna kill us one day! I should've placed a bet!" <br/>"Money doesn't help if you're dead, Amy," CR was heard reasoning. <br/>The cops were soon in and out of the house, learning it was a false alarm, and the Bellas decided to forget about everything that had happened and call it a night - a weird night for sure.<br/>Looking back, they were even able to joke about it. <br/>"And then Flo went full <em>Tangled</em> on Lily," Emily explained to some of the girls. <br/>"We didn't think you had it in you," Beca admitted to the Guatemalan girl. <br/>"Prison changes you," The girl explained. <br/>"You've been to prison?" Stacie raised an eyebrow. <br/>"Yeah, I even got a tattoo there. On my shoulder, it's a butterfly," Flo replied, lowering her shirt to show the tattoo. <br/>"Um Flo... That's not a butterfly," Stacie snickered, gazing at the familiar shape. <br/>"What? It isn't?" <br/>"I have no idea what that is, but Stace is right, that's not a butterfly," Emily confirmed. <br/>"One day you'll know, kiddo," Fat Amy also snickered, patting the younger girl on the shoulder. <br/>"Anyways," Beca interjected, "It wasn't that scary after all. If I'm being honest, the only moment I felt pure terror was when I saw the blood and Ashley was missing," she chuckled. <br/>"Ha! I guess Lily got a sacrificial lamb or something earlier and we didn't notice," CR stated. <br/>"But guys... Lily is vegan," Chloe said. <br/>Silence fell around the girls before they decided to lock up again.</p>
<p>
  <strong>*****</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Freaky Thursday ~ Part II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So, how have these past few days been for the two of you?" Cynthia-Rose asked casually the next afternoon, as she sipped on her coffee. The Bellas were all hanging out in the living room of their house while expecting another storm.</p>
<p>"Terrible," Aubrey started, "Her friends are pushy, her job is boring and I can't reach any shelf! I'm assuming you have to climb them like a monkey!"</p>
<p>"You wanna play the height card?!" Beca hissed, "Okay then, I hope you don't get dizzy when you climb those shelves because I wouldn't want you to throw up all over my clothes, pukegate!"</p>
<p>"Maybe that will be your chance to get a decent set of garments!"</p>
<p>"Do you expect me to dress like it's the 17th century, Marie Antoinette?!"</p>
<p>"She lived in the 18th century, for your information!"</p>
<p>"Great, I see nothing changed," Chloe noted.</p>
<p>"I hope that lightning strikes you in the head!"</p>
<p>"Man I wish, I wouldn't have to hear you blabbering all day then!"</p>
<p>"Do you think I could swap with Angelina Jolie?" Stacie asked CR as they ignored the scene unfolding before them.</p>
<p>"I'd rather swap with Brad,"</p>
<p>"I would swap with Obama," Flo commented, "I bet he gets a lot of free stuff,"</p>
<p>"The lightning is coming," Lily interrupted both the chatter and the heated argument, petting a black cat on her lap.</p>
<p>"Where did you find that cat?" Chloe pointed to the animal quizzingly.</p>
<p>"The void,"</p>
<p>"Forget I asked," the redhead shook her head.</p>
<p>"Aubrey, Beca, you need to join hands," the asian girl instructed, making both Bellas frown.</p>
<p>"As if," Beca scoffed.</p>
<p>"I'd rather choke," Aubrey agreed, crossing her arms.</p>
<p>"If you don't do that, there will be bad consequences..." Lily trailed quietly.</p>
<p>"Diarrhea?" Fat Amy scrunched up her nose.</p>
<p>"No, that's when you eat Mexican food," Stacie nudged the blonde before turning to Flo, "no offense,"</p>
<p>"I'm not Mexican!"</p>
<p>"It's okay, none of us is racist, you don't have to hide your heritage," the Australian dismissed.</p>
<p>"I think Lily was talking about being stuck in each other's body," CR pointed out with a 'seriously guys?' look.</p>
<p>"Yeah that can't happen. Or else Beca and I will never-" Chloe stopped herself when everyone stared at her, "-make muffins together. Because Aubrey's allergic to gluten," she gulped.</p>
<p>"Why not make them gluten free?" Stacie questioned.</p>
<p>"Because they won't taste the same!" Chloe whined, almost yelling. Just as she realised what she said, and noticing Stacie's prominent smirk, she dropped the subject.</p>
<p>"Can this fucking thunder hurry up?!" the cat must have gotten startled by the volume in Chloe's voice because it jumped down Lily's lap and ran away.</p>
<p>"I gotta go find the cat. He might create a black hole," Lily announced, standing up, "I wrote down all the instructions, though," she added, handing Amy a notepad.</p>
<p>"When did you do that?" Emily questioned.</p>
<p>"I used my third eye to make my higher self do it, just one second ago," Lily replied nonchalantly, confusing everyone more before leaving.</p>
<p>Beca and Aubrey both sighed, finally taking a hold of one another's hands.</p>
<p>"Alright, well, follow my lead, I guess," Amy started, "Guys, stretch out your left arm in front of you," the girls obeyed, "Now your right arm. Okay good. Now turn the left one upside down. Now do the same with the right one,"</p>
<p>"Wait... you're making us do the macarena!" Beca yelled furiously, causing her blonde friend to burst into laughter.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry! The temptation was too much! Maybe I should put on some music,"</p>
<p>"Amy!" Aubrey growled.</p>
<p>"Fine, fine! Repeat after me," Fat Amy sighed "Eenie meenie miny moe,"</p>
<p>Beca arched an eyebrow, trying to keep from snapping.</p>
<p>"Do you think this is a joke?"</p>
<p>"Just say it," the Aussie replied.</p>
<p>"Eenie meenie miny moe..."</p>
<p>"God of swapping, give me back my toes,"</p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>"Say it!"</p>
<p>"God of swapping give me back my toes,"</p>
<p>"Um... Something in latin, blah blah blah... I don't know... expecto patronum... expelliarmus... er, what other spells were there in Harry Potter?" Fat Amy asked the group.</p>
<p>"Wingardium leviosa," Chloe went to her aid.</p>
<p>"Right! Wingardium leviosa..."</p>
<p>"Just read out what Lily wrote, for Pete's sake!" the DJ snapped. That's when Stacie took the notepad from Amy's hands and started reading the latin notes fluently.</p>
<p>"What? I've got the body AND the brains," Stacie shrugged at the astonished looks she was receiving and gave the notepad back.</p>
<p>"Um alright... what do we do now?" Beca awkwardly asked.</p>
<p>"It doesn't say," Fat Amy shook her head after glancing at the instructions once more.</p>
<p>"So I guess we just... wait for the lightning to strike again?" CR probed.</p>
<p>"Given climate change, it won't take long," Flo murmured.</p>
<p>And she was right. Soon enough a lightning struck and the two unfortunate girls were out like a candle. When they woke up, sore, on opposite ends of the couch, they felt for their respective bodies.</p>
<p>"Thank you God!" Aubrey squealed when she realized she was back in her own body.</p>
<p>"Thank you more realistic science explanation!" Beca squealed back, causing the blonde to arch an eyebrow at her, but she didn't comment on it.</p>
<p>"You guys are back in your own bodies!" Emily grinned.</p>
<p>"That's lucky," Stacie hummed, "Chloe was getting whiny already. Now maybe Beca can-"</p>
<p>"It's aca-awesome that everything's back to normal!" Chloe interrupted abruptly, forcing a smile, "Usually this kind of things happens to teach a lesson,"</p>
<p>"Usually this kind of things does NOT happen," CR corrected.</p>
<p>"Well, I believe there is a reason. Like when a stranger wanted to take me home with him so I could play with his new puppies," Chloe said, "And I learned that I should've asked how far it was because I wasn't wearing sneakers,"</p>
<p>"THAT's what you learned from it?" Beca asked in horror.</p>
<p>"I was in heels," Chloe shrugged slowly.</p>
<p>"Yeah, uh, anyway I haven't learnt anything," Beca said.</p>
<p>"Me neither," Aubrey confirmed.</p>
<p>"At least you two are agreeing on this," Fat Amy mumbled.</p>
<p>Lily sighed and stepped forward, leaning close to Beca to whisper something into Beca's ear. Then she did the same with Aubrey. The Bellas watched warily and carefully as she stepped back.</p>
<p>The two girls looked at each other and their expressions showed... regret?</p>
<p>"I'm sorry for being an asshole," the DJ started, "I should take things more seriously sometimes,"</p>
<p>"I'm sorry for being a control freak," the blonde replied, "I'm too strict sometimes... well, rather often, and I understand it might be straining,"</p>
<p>"It's okay,"</p>
<p>"Come here," Aubrey cried, pulling Beca in a tight hug, which the girl surprisingly reciprocated as she cried as well.</p>
<p>The Bellas stared in awe at the events unfolding before them, their jaws needing picked up off the floor.</p>
<p>"What the hell?" Fat Amy broke the silence, more confused than ever.</p>
<p>"How did you do that? What did you tell them?" Chloe turned to Lily in shock. The girl just shrugged and muttered: "Somtimes what you want to hear is what the universe already told you,"</p>
<p>"What the fuck does that mean?" Fat Amy countered, scrunching up her face.</p>
<p>"The answer was in their deeper souls, they just had to look through,"</p>
<p>"I still don't get it," Flo admitted and Stacie shook her head in agreement.</p>
<p>"Irrelevant," Aubrey shook her head and pulled slightly away from Beca, "What matters now is that Beca and I put aside our differences and are able to start over. After all, we're not so different,"</p>
<p>"Yeah, dude! I mean, I like working with sounds and you love yelling," Beca agreed, immediately regretting it. Aubrey raised an eyebrow as everyone's eyes widened in panic. There was a long pause before the blonde started laughing.</p>
<p>"That's true! I do like yelling!" a small smile formed on the DJ's lips as the room filled with the girls' laughter.</p>
<p>"All's well that ends well, am I right, ladies?" Chloe beamed.</p>
<p>"Yeah!" the Bellas all agreed.</p>
<p>"Well guess it's time to hit the sack! You don't wanna be grouchy for your morning lectures, do you?" the ginger clapped her hands with a grin.</p>
<p>"Um <em>our</em> lectures? You have lectures too," CR pointed out.</p>
<p>"Yeah, that, whatever," Chloe dismissed, "Let's just go to bed,"</p>
<p>The group went up the stairs when Emily turned around.</p>
<p>"Stacie, you coming?"</p>
<p>"Oh, yeah, I'm just gonna make my face mask. All natural," the taller girl replied.</p>
<p>"You shouldn't have spent all that money on that funky bench. But at least we have something for my little cousin to play with when he visits!"</p>
<p>"Honey, that's for adults,"</p>
<p>"What? How is a bench just for adults-"</p>
<p>"Just go to bed," Stacie snickered, heading towards the kitchen. The innocent girl was still confused but chose to shrug it off and wished her team mate goodnight before going to her room.</p>
<p>As Stacie was preparing the mask, someone knocked on the door. She groaned before reluctantly answering it. <br/>"Bumper? What are you doing here this late?" she quizzed. <br/>"We found a dead cat in our yard," the boy replied, holding up the black cat's body, "And I know one of your girls put it there! That's a low blow, it could start smelling!" <br/>"Chill, alright? That's Lily's cat, it's never really dead. Give it a few days and it'll be back to haunt you. I don't think it's from this dimension, bye!" she went to shut the door, but he put his arm in it.<br/>"No! This is war Conrad-" loud thunder was heard and the pair blacked out, out of the blue. <br/>Stacie didn't know how long she was out for, but she woke up along with all the other Bellas to the sound of her own voice shouting: "I have boobs!" <br/>The girl looked down at her clothes and sighed deeply. <br/>"Shit."</p>
<p>
  <em>THE END.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Table 19.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <b>The oneshot is inspired by an awesome Anna Kendrick movie, watch Table 19 if you haven't already 😉 I really hope you enjoy this! </b>
</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Beca, I need your help,"</p>
<p>"Sounds out of character. Do you have a fever?" the DJ frowned, looking up at her friend from her bed. Aubrey rolled her eyes and shut the door behind her before taking a few steps towards Beca.</p>
<p>"This is serious, Mitchell,"</p>
<p>"Alright, I'm all ears. Well, metaphorically speaking. Not technically. If I were physically all ears I wouldn't be able to eat, or talk, or walk- sorry, continue," Beca rambled, shaking her head.</p>
<p>"Emily is rubbing off on you already?" the blonde asked in amusement.</p>
<p>"Shut up, she wanted to be my pupil or something like that. I'm just... mentoring,"</p>
<p>"At least she didn't pick Fat Amy as her role model. That would have been problematic,"</p>
<p>"Good call," the DJ replied, "So, what's cracking?"</p>
<p>"You remember Alice, from Barden Bellas 2011?"</p>
<p>"The stuck-up chick you won't stop bitching about? Yeah, it rings a bell," Beca smirked, "What about her?"</p>
<p>"Well, she's getting married to an old acquaintance of mine, Howie. And as Barden Bellas, we're all invited to the wedding,"</p>
<p>"But you can't stand her, right?"</p>
<p>"Stand her? She's the Wicked Witch of the West, Bec,"</p>
<p>"Who?"</p>
<p>"You've never seen the Wizard Of Oz? Not even when you were little?"</p>
<p>"I was busy coloring the walls with crayons to grab my parents' attention, you take a guess,"</p>
<p>"Oh," Aubrey mumbled, taken aback the slightest, "well at least there was some color in your life,"</p>
<p>"They were black crayons,"</p>
<p>"Anyways!" the blonde clapped her hands together, "We're all gonna attend,"</p>
<p>"So you've decided to be the bigger person and cease fire?" the brunette supposed, shutting the laptop in front of her.</p>
<p>"No, I wanna end the bitch," Aubrey replied firmly.</p>
<p>"Oh. Feisty." Beca was surprised, but not that much. Trust Aubrey Posen to be crazy vengeful - she of all people would know, "you get quite scary when you seek revenge,"</p>
<p>"This doesn't count, she's horrible! She treated us miserably. She's made me physically sick and anxious countless times and she made us all so self conscious all the time! She's the reason Chloe refuses to eat eggs anymore!"</p>
<p>"I have no idea what correlation that has with anything but you're saying she hurt Chloe, correct?"</p>
<p>"A whole lot," Aubrey nodded in confirmation.</p>
<p>"Okay, where do we hide the bitch's body?" Beca asked with a straight face, making her friend smirk. Pulling the Chloe card always worked.</p>
<p>"So you'll help me,"</p>
<p>"Maybe. What do you have in mind?" the brunette questioned.</p>
<p>"I have a lot of dirt on this couple, but I'm not good with this kind of stuff. I need... I need your attitude,"</p>
<p>"My attitude?"</p>
<p>"Well, the facade. We all know you're a softie, but I need the badass facade,"</p>
<p>"I-I'm not a softie!"</p>
<p>"Sure," Aubrey rolled her eyes, "So will you help me or not?"</p>
<p>Beca bit her lip in thought, looking at her seemingly desperate- yet intimidating- friend. She hadn't seen Aubrey so determined since wanting to destroy a polish geek at a spelling bee years ago... Yes, an adult spelling bee. She didn't even know that was a thing, but then again, she was in an acapella group.</p>
<p>"Oh what the hell, I'm in," she sighed, giving in, to which Aubrey grinned excitedly, "pass the pen, let's get down to business."</p>
<p>******</p>
<p>"Thanks for helping me get that off my chest," Aubrey sighed, placing her hand on Beca's shoulder. They were sat in the middle section of the half full church, waiting for the priest to arrive.</p>
<p>"It's fine, in the end you've made the right decision by not saying all those things to them,"</p>
<p>"Yeah, I want to open the doors to new and mature Aubrey Posen. Little bit of a bitch, but within the law," the blonde smiled proudly.</p>
<p>"Cheers to that. And I mean, you made us wear white dresses. This is a good enough revenge on its own, isn't it?" the DJ added, "Not to mention the gifts we bough them,"</p>
<p>At first, the group wasn't sure what kind of payback they were going for. Fat Amy suggested they stole whatever they could and left as quickly as they arrived, while Lily wanted to go to the extreme and put a laxative in the bride's drink. Luckily their former captain - though tempted - discarded both ideas.</p>
<p>"Again, why are we wearing white dresses? Isn't it a no-go at weddings?" Emily innocently asked.</p>
<p>"That's the point, Legacy," Fat Amy rolled her eyes, "We can just tell Alice we thought, as fellow Bellas, we should match colours just like we matched pitch. Match pitch with the bitch,"</p>
<p>"Catchy," Stacie hummed.</p>
<p>"But... maybe it's a little... immoral?" Emily frowned.</p>
<p>"It was Beca's idea. Do you wanna go against your mentor, Legacy?" Fat Amy challenged, making the younger girl gulp.</p>
<p>"No chance! If our captain demands it, I'm doing it. I'll always have her back. This and more for you, cap. I'll pour my own blood on these very grounds if you ask me to!" Emily stated proudly.</p>
<p>"Oh, that's, um, a little unnecessary but I like your energy," Beca said.</p>
<p>"Guys, where's Lily?" CR asked from her seat, where she was rocking her white suit.</p>
<p>Some of the girls opened their mouths to speak, but were cut off when the cerimony started. To their shock, Lily was standing before the couple, wearing a priest gown and holding a goblet as she said her greetings to everyone.</p>
<p>"Lily!" Aubrey whispered-yelled, causing the dark haired girl to excuse herself and walk over to her group mates, "What are you doing up there?!"</p>
<p>"The priest was feeling unwell, so I subentered," Lily quietly answered.</p>
<p>"Do you have a license to officiate a wedding?" CR questioned.</p>
<p>"I have a lot of licenses, more than you can name," was all Lily said.</p>
<p>"Do you have... license to kill?" Flo asked.</p>
<p>"I'm not obligated to answer that. But yes,"</p>
<p>The Bellas left it at that and watched the rest of the ceremony unfold, struggling not to feel uneasy.</p>
<p>*******</p>
<p>Reception didn't seem like it was going to be hectic, until Aubrey saw what table her and the current Bellas had been placed.</p>
<p>"Table 19?! That worn up phony skanky brat!" the woman hissed.</p>
<p>"What's wrong with table 19?" Beca asked in confusion.</p>
<p>"Beca, have you ever been to a wedding?"</p>
<p>"Well, my dad got married to my step mom, so... no," the DJ replied truthfully.</p>
<p>"Well, there's always that one table where you place all the people that are supposed to leave the reception after giving their gift, if they attend at all. For Alice, I've heard, it would be table 19, as in the table farthest from the newly weds and closest to the toilets," the former leader explained angrily, "That was a mothereffing low blow from her!"</p>
<p>"An aca-blow," Ashley said.</p>
<p>"Not now, Jessica!"</p>
<p>"Who cares? Look, free shrimp!" Fat Amy pointed out, gesturing towards the buffet table.</p>
<p>"You don't get it, this was on purpose. She's trying to push my buttons. Lock and load, Bellas, we're going to war," Aubrey declared.</p>
<p>"Can't we just swap cards so we get another table to avoid the humiliation or whatever and leave it at that?" Cynthia Rose proposed.</p>
<p>"No way. This is personal, she wanted to push my buttons and stomp on my honor. You don't mess with Aubrey Posen!"</p>
<p>"Word..." Stacie mumbled.</p>
<p>"What happened to mature and new Aubrey Posen?" Beca pointed out, frowning.</p>
<p>"She can suck my ass!" Aubrey replied, "When I'm done with this girlie I'm gonna wipe the floor with the remainder of her reputation,"</p>
<p>"Are you going for the speech you and Beca rehearsed?" Flo asked.</p>
<p>"To be fair, there were too many obscene words in the original one so they had to tone it down," Chloe clarified, and the Bellas all looked at Beca.</p>
<p>"I'm not a fucking Mary-Sue," the DJ shrugged defensively.</p>
<p>"Lock and load, Bellas. This is gonna be a day Alice won't forget," Aubrey promised in a low voice.</p>
<p>"Yeah, that's what they usually say about your wedding..." Fat Amy was silenced by the taller girl's glare.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>The day was going smoothly, happy chatter filled the room, accompanied by relaxing jazz music. Some of the Bellas were betting on how long the newly weds would last, the maximum being nine months (Cynthia Rose assumed they were tying the knot because of unexpected pregnancy); Chloe was talking it up with the other guests while contemplating snatching a bottle of prosecco before they had to leave; Emily was wandering around, occasionally helping the waiters - so much that people started believing she worked there; Beca was shifting from one hiding place to another, not wanting to deal with the billionth "how do you know the spouses" conversation. She didn't, she didn't know the spouses, she felt like a stray. She didn't even remember what the groom was called, Mike was it? Carl? Steve? She really hoped it was Steve, because that was gonna be on their wedding messages frame for a long time. <br/>At one point she stumbled upon Fat Amy hiding shrimp in her bra, saving it for later.</p>
<p>"Is that were you usually keep food?" the brunette asked jokingly.</p>
<p>"You should see where I put my keys," the blonde replied, stuffing her handbag too.</p>
<p>"Ew, dude! I borrowed those for weeks!"</p>
<p>"You didn't catch anything, why are you complaining?"</p>
<p>"That's not the poi-"</p>
<p>"Hello girls!" someone cut them off. As they turned to look at the person, they realized it was Alice. "Are you enjoying yourselves so far?" she asked with an overstretched smile.</p>
<p><em>The music is shit, my heels are killing me, this dress is too tight, I don't even like you, I hate weddings and I have no idea how to eat half of the things on this table,</em> Beca thought.</p>
<p>"Yeah, it's a nice wedding, congrats" she lied through her smile, then outstretched her hand, "I'm Beca, by the way,"</p>
<p>"Oh, I know, new leader of the Bellas," Alice shook it slowly, "I saw you on tv, you look shorter in person!"</p>
<p>"Ah... I guess,"</p>
<p>"I'm Fat Amy, but you probably know me already," the aussie said smugly.</p>
<p>"I actually had no clue... Wow Aubrey let you guys pick your own diet, huh?" Alice commented, eyeing Amy up and down.</p>
<p>"But then again, I'm not surprised. Her recruits for the Bellas were not very... Well, caucasian, if you know what I mean," she chuckled,to which both girls scrunched up their eyebrows. <br/>Before either of them could respond, the former Bella was called over by a relative and told them to enjoy the night.</p>
<p>"Is she racist?" Beca whispered once she had left.</p>
<p>"Shocker. She walks like she a constipated French hostess who believes she's British." the Australian whispered back.</p>
<p>"She's body-shaming too. Don't know why I expected her to be body positive,"</p>
<p>"My body is positive that she's a cunt, but as long as the wine fills my glass I don't mind her,"</p>
<p>"Yeah," Beca replied, "hey, is it true that I look shorter in person?" she added, in slight agitation.</p>
<p>"I don't know, maybe,"</p>
<p>"Is it a good or a bad thing?"</p>
<p>"Oh! Hot stud at 9 o'clock, gotta go BM,"</p>
<p>"Amy!" Beca yelled after her friend, who had started to walk seductively towards an average looking middle-aged guy, "IS IT A BAD OR GOOD THING?!?"</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>More time passed, between karaoke songs and meal courses, and it would have been almost pleasant if Aubrey wasn't fixated on her revenge. <br/>Everyone was just minding their business, until toasts took over. <br/>It was now or never.</p>
<p>"Alice, Howie... I'm so unbelievably happy for you two. You've started this new chapter of life together and that's so brave and admirable. Knowing you're gonna be in each other's face all the time... Huge commitment!" Aubrey began, holding the microphone up to her face, "Especially having to tolerate the other's annoying habits, whew!<br/>I mean I've shared a room with Alice so I know for a fact that she snores like a horse in heat. On the other hand she has to deal with you costantly scratching your butt when you think no one's watching. Side note, they are,"</p>
<p>"Is she trying to be funny?" Alice whispered through gritted teeth.</p>
<p>"I-I'm not sure..." Howie replied, more confused than embarrassed.</p>
<p>"You two are a match made in heaven! Although you are no strangers to sins either, am I right Howie?" Aubrey winked, "this guy is a beast in the sheets, so the girls he's been with say. All 38 of them!"</p>
<p>"38?" Alice's head snapped towards her husband, "you said you've been with <em>eight</em> girls!"</p>
<p>"Hey, it's okay to have secrets. I mean, if I were in your shoes, I don't think I would be brave enough to tell him I gave him chlamydia either. I understand," Aubrey interjected.</p>
<p>"Chlamydia?!" Howie almost shouted.</p>
<p>"I can explain!"</p>
<p>"I didn't even know I had it! You said it was normal!"</p>
<p>"Oh boy," Aubrey once again Interrupted the couple's bickering, "it's not normal. Just like that thing you do with your foot when you're doing the nasty. Yeah, girls share details,"</p>
<p>"What?!"</p>
<p>"And Alice, it's humble how you settled for the brother you liked less. Let's be real, Shawn over there is a hot piece of meat, but you're good too, Howie! If I aimed for Brad Pitt but they gave me Matt Damon, I would still be happy. Alice was so generous about it, too, she said 'as long as the net catches fish, who am I to toss it back in the ocean?' and I think it's so inspiring how she overlooked the size of said fish in the name of love," she set a hand on her heart,</p>
<p>"That being said, I hope you like the gifts we brought you, they weren't on your wedding wishes guestlist but I think you could make some good use of it. The first one is an amazing book of positions, but it's not the old version you guys have in your library-"</p>
<p>"I-It was gift from a friend..." Howie said to his horrified aunt.</p>
<p>"This one is updated! And then there's this lice shampoo, for your little problems that I'm not gonna explicitly name because hey, it's private!" the blonde continued.</p>
<p>"Is anything private at this point?" Cynthia Rose whispered to Chloe, who shrugged.</p>
<p>"Can't tell. I've lost sense of privacy about five shots ago," she slurred back.</p>
<p>"It was recommended by the stripper at your 23rd birthday, you remember her, Howie? Candice. I met her at the mall, she's still upset that you haven't called her back after that time, just like Bologna Barb when you told her your fling was over because you were engaged!" Bologna Barb shifted in her seat uncomfortably, from a table nearby,</p>
<p>"And the last gift is a coupon for Goodwill because I know that's Alice's favourite place to buy fake china! That being said, You guys are so cute together. Cheers to the newly weds!" Aubrey smiled proudly before handing back the mic.</p>
<p>"Aubrey, what the hell are you doing?!" Alice barked, blushing furiously and with wide eyes as she and Howie approached her, fuming.</p>
<p>"Yeah and why are you doing it?!" the man yelled, equally angry.</p>
<p>"Maybe next time think about it twice before putting the Barden Bellas at table 19!" Aubrey shot back smugly, with an amused smirk.</p>
<p>"Table 19? What are you talking about? You were placed in Table 18!" the bride hissed.</p>
<p>"And while we're on it, your stupid- wait what?" the blonde cut herself off mid-ramble, "No, it's number 19. It's written on the card right here,"</p>
<p>"Well someone must have exchanged the cards!" Bologna Barb shifted again in her seat and downed a glass of wine, looking anywhere but at the two women.</p>
<p>"Oh..." Aubrey realized, noticing it.</p>
<p>"Told you that was a better idea," Cynthia Rose commented.</p>
<p>"Nah, I'm team Posen here. Go big or go home," Fat Amy replied, observing the scene.</p>
<p>"So, um, this is just a big misunderstanding, isn't it?" Aubrey chuckled nervously, "Well, uh, I think the girls and I are just gonna leave now..."</p>
<p>"Damn right you are," Alice scoffed.</p>
<p>"Hold up, we are staying for the cake, right?" Fat Amy asked, uncertain.</p>
<p>The bride just glared at her with her arms crossed.</p>
<p>"Unless you want that thrown in your face, I suggest we don't," Cynthia Rose replied.</p>
<p>"Eh, cake's still cake," the Australian shrugged.</p>
<p>"Can we just go? Chloe's really drunk," Beca said, holding the redhead by her arms.</p>
<p>"I wanna swing from the chandelier like Sia..." Chloe slurred.</p>
<p>"Sia didn't really do that, sweetie..."</p>
<p>"She didn't?" the older girl stared at the brunette in astonishment and disappointment, "Did the man ever go on the moon?"</p>
<p>"Debatable," Flo muttered.</p>
<p>"Well, the wedding was great, Alice! Thank you guys for the invite and, uh..." Aubrey gulped, "take as much as you can and run, Bellas!" she yelled before bolting away.</p>
<p>The Bellas hurriedly picked up favors and finger food as they rushed out of the hotel.</p>
<p>"My plan!" Fat Amy gloriously sang. Mixed shouts from the rest of the girls followed, as well.</p>
<p>"Please don't call the cops!"</p>
<p>"Cops don't scare us, bring it!"</p>
<p>"Legacy no! !"</p>
<p>"Call me, Steve!"</p>
<p>"So there <em>is</em> a Steve!"</p>
<p>"I'm flying!"</p>
<p>"Chloe, get away from the Chandelier!"</p>
<p>
  <em>Fin.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>***</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. The Barden Avengers.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p><b>Just a little treat for my fellow Marvel fans! Hope you enjoyed it xx<br/></b><br/>Random question: who's your favorite Avenger? 🤔 </p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The ensemble of superheroes also known by the word as 'Avengers' were all standing at a circular table on the Mitchell tower - chosen place to have emergency meetings.</p><p>The team had worked together since college (a few years prior), coincidentally all superheroes went to the same school, Barden University! And no bald guy in a wheelchair was involved, it was a regular college. But in a universe where God's and superheroes roam the streets like tour guides, why would you question that?</p><p>Their leader Beca Mitchell, who many may recognize as 'Iron Girl', was hosting the meeting as usual.</p><p>"Alright guys, like I anticipated in my text, we have an emergency," the brunette started.</p><p>"Taco Tuesday is delayed? Oh man,"</p><p>"No, not that kind of emergency, Amy,"</p><p>"Pizza Friday still on too?"</p><p>"This has nothing to do with food," Beca sighed, "it's kind of a bigger threat for humanity, actually,"</p><p>"I'm a threat for humanity too when we don't have Taco Tuesday. Even worse than She-Hulk over here," the blonde countered with a raise of eyebrows, pointing at sculptured beauty Stacie Conrad, who scrunched up her nose as Ashley and Jessica - respectively Ant Woman and The Wasp - shared an amused look.</p><p>"Um guys, this isn't a competition about who's the biggest threat," Cynthia Rose, commonly called 'Black Panther' , pointed out.</p><p>"Of course not! But if it were a competition, I'd win," Fat Amy replied, muttering the last part.</p><p>"Anyways," Beca resumed, "the threat I'm talking about is Das Sound Machine. An army of warriors that's coming to take over the planet,"</p><p>"What planet do they come from? Vormir?" their beloved Captain America, Aubrey Posen, guessed.</p><p>"No,"</p><p>"Morag?" Stacie tried.</p><p>"Nope,"</p><p>"Where then?"</p><p>"Germany,"</p><p>There was a pause, the whole group visibly perplexed.</p><p>"Germany? As in... Earth's Germany?" CR asked for confirmation with a frown.</p><p>"I'm banned from that country," Lily, or Doctor Strange, muttered. She dissected dead animals for fun so her alias was fitting.</p><p>"Yeah. Well they mixed their DNA's with that of Chitauri, so they're not exactly humans."</p><p>"As if Germans weren't scary already," Fat Amy rolled her eyes.</p><p>"I heard they eat a lot of meat, they're like protein tanks," Chloe, or legendary spy Black Widow, stated.</p><p>"No, I'm pretty sure americans eat more meat. When I first came to this country, they offered me a meat pie," Flo, AKA the group's archer 'Hawkeye', voiced, "I used to think you made pies with fruit,"</p><p>"Well Europeans are so entitled, I can't wait to kick their <em>créme</em> <em>chantilly</em> asses," Fat Amy said.</p><p>"That's French, actually," Cynthia Rose responded.</p><p>"Sorry, we don't study earth geography among gods,"</p><p>"Ugh yeah you're a god, we get it!" Stacie rolled her eyes.</p><p>"Calm your tits, Jack and the Beanstalk!"</p><p>"Did they really do that? Mix up their DNAs? " Aubrey questioned, changing the subject.</p><p>"It's a little hard to explain," Beca clarified, running a hand through her hair.</p><p>"I would understand," Stacie bragged, "I actually graduated college,"</p><p>"Um, we all did," Cynthia Rose reminded.</p><p>"Yeah but I graduated twice,"</p><p>"Moving on," Beca clapped her hands together, "they're coming to New York City,"</p><p>"How do you know they're coming here?" Flo asked.</p><p>"It's always New York City," Beca deadpanned. "Anyway, they're looking for the Tesseract, which is an alien cube forged by Cosmic Entities as a containment vessel for the Space Stone, it's a multi layered gateway to any part of the universe and dimension, and might function as a provider for unlimited sustainable energy drawn directly from space,"</p><p>Crickets.</p><p>"It's a space thingy that holds a lot of power," Beca rephrased, getting many oh's in return.</p><p>"What do they plan to use it for?" Aubrey asked.</p><p>"Unclear," the brunette answered.</p><p>"Where is it right now?" Chloe, quizzed.</p><p>"Unclear," Beca repeated.</p><p>"What  <em>do</em> we know?" Aubrey sighed, slightly irritated.</p><p>"We know where we'll fight them," Beca assured, "on the Brooklyn Bridge,"</p><p>"Why the Brooklyn Bridge?"</p><p>"To remind the audience that we're in America," their leader shrugged, "We'll be hidden, waiting for them on a quinjet. Emily's spidey senses will give us an advantage,"</p><p>"So I will partecipate in the fight?" the younger girl beamed eagerly.</p><p>"Like hell you will," Beca scoffed, "you'll give us a headstart when they're coming and that's it,"</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"No buts. It's a school's night, I'm not letting you slack off," Emily just huffed and leaned back in her chair, arms crossed. She got accustomed by it, one day she's fighting a supervillain on the statue of Liberty and the next she's baking bread for home economics. Teenage things.</p><p>"I'll give you all special suits Stacie and I fabricated a while ago, we'll only use them if things go south, but that's unlikely," Iron Girl informed, "same design, different quality,"</p><p>"Oh yeah! Those suits," Stacie nodded with a wink.</p><p>"What do they do?" Flo quizzed.</p><p>"Nah not telling you, I like a mystery," Stacie shook her head. Flo frowned but chose to brush it off, turning back to their leader.</p><p>"I don't mind a new suit, we look bomb in anything," Cynthia Rose smiled smugly.</p><p>"That's easy for you to say. When you use your powers you don't look like the wicked witch of the West meets giant Denny DeVito on steroids," Stacie remarked. The other girl sent her a mindless shrug, Biting back a laugh.</p><p>"So what's the plan?" Jessica eventually asked, to which Beca smiled.</p><p>"Oh you're gonna like it. This plan is perfect,"</p><p>*****</p><p>"This plan is NOT perfect, why did I even suggest it!" Beca screamed into her armor as she blasted some warriors away.</p><p>"Oh love, it was a good plan! You couldn't have predicted that they didn't like ice cream!" Chloe reassured while kicking ass.</p><p>"I should have! I'm the smart one!" the brunette self deprecated.</p><p>"Oh, so we're all dumbasses then?" the redhead raised an accusing eyebrow, stopping her motions.</p><p>"Well, Stacie is actually very--I mean n-no! Of course that's not what I meant!" Beca was now terrified over something way more scary than DSM. Her girlfriend. Lucky for her, someone else Interrupted them.</p><p>"We got this, we got this!" They heard Aubrey scream as she shoved enemies left and right with her vibranium shield, "Avengers... Assemble!"</p><p>"Actually it would be more effective if we took care of each section of their army from a distance, in this case, so.." Beca pointed out awkwardly.</p><p>"Oh, God I'm sorry! It just sounded so cool to say!" the blonde explained.</p><p>"That's okay,"</p><p>"SUCCUMB TO THE POWER OF THE GOD OF THUNDER!" Fat Amy screamed as she raised her divine hammer, invoking lightnings, "MWAHAHAHAHA!"</p><p>"You're the good guy, you shouldn't have a customized evil laugh," Cynthia Rose pointed out, clawing at an  enemy.</p><p>"Well fuck that, I'm a goddess! I'll bend the rule!"</p><p>"Language!" Aubrey screamed, successfully throwing her shield against her target.</p><p>"Hey, Stacie, how about you get mad? We need a lil help here," Beca called.</p><p>"I'm sorry guys, I'm trying! I just can't find anything to be angry about right now," the tall brunette replied apologetically, seeking cover in the midst of chaos.</p><p>"What about your friends being in danger?" Beca suggested, blasting a few more targets from the sky.</p><p>"Or the whole city being in danger," CR added.</p><p>"I don't know, guys..."</p><p>In that moment, Chloe did a backflip to crack the spine of an enemy and landed on her feet, in a poster-like pose.</p><p>"You know what, this is ridiculous!" Stacie exclaimed, "She gets the tight leather sexy suit and I turn to goddamn Shrek. Like, how is that fair?! I'm the hottest girl y'all have ever met, why did I not-"</p><p>Just like that, she quickly transformed into that so called beast she claims to despise so much.</p><p>Stacie - well, She-Hulk, started growling and smashing anything in sight.</p><p>"She's more fun when she's green," Fat Amy commented, throwing her trusty hammer around like a boomerang.</p><p>"Yeah, like Chloe when she's drunk," Flo snickered.</p><p>"Or Aubrey when she doesn't puke out of pressure," Cynthia Rose chuckled.</p><p>"That only happened once!" Aubrey screamed, "and you would puke too if you were stuck in a block of ice for 60 years!"</p><p>"No I don't think there's a scientific correlation," Ashley frowned.</p><p>"Shut up!"</p><p>"As much as I love seeing you guys bicker, can we focus on the battle?" Beca flew by.</p><p>"It's not going very well. Isn't it time to play your aces?" Flo asked, aiming at another target with her bow.</p><p>"It's not safe. The entire bridge would collapse!" Aubrey argued.</p><p>"So? We have evacuated it," Flo argues.</p><p>"Then explain that," Aubrey points to the amount of cars lined up on the bridge, people visible from the windshields, holding up their phones as they were... Live streaming on Instagram? What the hell.</p><p>"Who was in charge of blocking the traffic?!" Chloe almost yelled.</p><p>"Uh, sorry I made a quick stop to the restroom when we landed and forgot... My bladder isn't what it used to be," Ashley responded shamefully.</p><p>"There's no restrooms..." CR frowned.</p><p>"Okay it was a bush! I peed in a bush, are you happy? Getting lost in the quantum realm changes you!"</p><p>"Lily, do you think you can... Send these people in another dimension or something?" Beca asked, looking down at her team mate.</p><p>"I've done more difficult things before. Like creating a blackhole," the quiet girl said.</p><p>"And how did that play out?" Aubrey questioned.</p><p>"There's no scenario involving a blackhole that ends well," was the reply. Touché.</p><p>"Just do that. Flo, Aubrey, you will cover her. CR, you see these devices?" Beca pulled out a bunch of metallic disks, "You and I will position them around the perimeter. Fat Amy, on my mark you need to hit the center of the bridge with lightning,"</p><p>"What happens if I miss?" the Asgardian asked.</p><p>"We all die in vain. And also, possibly, a nuclear catastrophe," Beca only half joked.</p><p>"Encouraging,"</p><p>"Moving on," Beca resumed, "Jessica and Ashley make sure DSM don't leave the bridge. Chloe, you get to the quinjet and pick the girls up when the bridge crashes. By them I mean those losers who can't fly, obviously. And Stacie... Smash,"</p><p>She-Hulk growled eagerly in response, jumping at the enemies.</p><p>"Chances of success?" Chloe asks.</p><p>"Best case scenario, we knock them out, capture them, and the State has to rebuild the bridge," Beca started, "Worst case scenario, we still knock them out but the suits I made us don't work so we're dead. Like, super dead. With missing limbs and unrecognizable features. Tarantino character dead. RIP. Hasta la vista. Gone for-"</p><p>"Okay, I get it," the redhead cut her off, "Still better than what went down in Budapest,"</p><p>"By the way, what the hell went down in Budapest?"</p><p>"It's a crazy story actually. It all started on a sales day at Sears-" Chloe was cut off by a small explosion on their left, which shook the ground slightly.</p><p>"I'll tell you some other time,"</p><p>"You always say that..." Beca muttered under her breath before shutting her helmet, ready to jump up.</p><p>"Wait!" the redhead stopped her, "Beca, be careful. If you die, I will kill you,"</p><p>The brunette snickered and gave her girlfriend thumbs up as she flew back up to action.</p><p>They went on with the plan, Chloe was collecting the girls as Beca and Fat Amy destroyed the bridge and everything on it. Fortunately, the suits worked, but the impact of the explosion hit Beca... Hard.</p><p>"Shawshank!" Fat Amy screamed, witnessing the scene from afar for a brief moment. Beca's iron suit was having... Let's say technical difficulties, and she felt like she was on fire while she was launched into the water.</p><p>Beca's head was buzzing, the blood rush making her dizzy. She kept losing focus as she sank deeper and deeper as her suit got heavier. At one point, though, she spotted a flash of a body nearing her.</p><p>"Amy?" she almost whispered.</p><p>"I must admit... That was a nice shot, little troll," the person said through their own dark helmet.</p><p><em>Shit</em>, the brunette thought.</p><p>"Yes, <em>shit</em> is correct," the thick German accent voiced.</p><p>"Seriously? Do you read minds too now?"</p><p>"No, it just wasn't very hard to guess,"</p><p>"Can you just die already?" the Avenger grumbled in annoyance.</p><p>"Not since Disney bought us," Pieter Kramer replied with a straight face, "We're no longer PG-13,"</p><p>Beca groaned and tiredly checked out her oxygen counter.</p><p>"How about we end this peacefully then?"</p><p>"You blew up my troops,"</p><p>"Stacie bit my TV apart once when she was in Hulk form, and yet we're still friends AND beer pong partners. You don't have to take everything personally, dude,"</p><p>Pieter simply responded with an intense kick, causing little sparks to burst out of Beca's armor.</p><p>"You could have just said no," Beca said, trying to blast her opponent, but failing. She frowned as her armor hardly gave signs of life. She looked up to find the man ready to fry her.</p><p>"Um, er... Can we talk this out? Because, like, you don't want to take me out, trust me,"</p><p>"Why wouldn't I?" the German questioned, unimpressed.</p><p>"Because... Because, first you have to tell me your evil plan,"</p><p>"That makes no sense,"</p><p>"No, that's how it works, duh. Believe me, I've fought like five supervillains before you. It's kind of a protocol," Beca insisted.</p><p>"Alright then," Pieter sighed, "just because you have no chance of turning the tables anyway,"</p><p>"That's what they all say..." the girl mumbled.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Nothing! Go on,"</p><p>"Whatever. We want the Tesseract so that we can colonize Earth and bring our friends from Chronica 2 here as well, enslaving the humans and turning the planet to a potential war base,"</p><p>"So you made an alliance with them?" Beca reflected out loud, "useful information,"</p><p>"Which you won't be able to utilize because you will be done for in a minute,"</p><p>"Ah yeah I tend to forget about that part,"</p><p>"Now, do you have any last prayers?"</p><p>"Yeah... I'd like it if you didn't hit me," Beca replied immediately.</p><p>"That was just a courtesy kinda question, I'm not actually gonna take your prayers into account,"</p><p>"Well, you could have been more clear about that,"</p><p>"What, do you want me to write it down? Make a shiny billboard?"</p><p>"It doesn't have to be shiny,"</p><p>"I don't care! Enough chit chat, I'm ending you now" the German growled.</p><p>"Alright, slow your roll, mister. We haven't gone through centuries of oppression for me to get scrapped by a man, ya hear me?"</p><p>"Oh how convenient of you to bring that up now!" the man countered, "first of all, I'm a feminist so don't try that. You being a woman does in no way, shape or form affect the way I'll deal with you,"</p><p>"Okay, okay, I believe you," Beca raised her hands, "I got what I wanted anyways,"</p><p>"And what's that?"</p><p>"Time," the girl smiled, "look up," just as he did that, the loudest splash was heard underwater. Before the German could process what was happening, electricity spread all over the water, sending Shockwave both to him and the iron woman.</p><p>"<em>Verdammt</em>!"</p><p>Beca reacted quickly to the shock as her suit seemed to come back to life. The engine in her boots started working again, allowing her to lift up. She gave Fat Amy a nod, which she reciprocated as they both blasted him out of the water.</p><p>Once they were all out, Beca retracted her helmet. "took you a while,"</p><p>"I didn't know where you landed!" the blonde whined,</p><p>"That's what you get, you nazi bastard!" Fat Amy turned her head in Pieter's direction.</p><p>"That... Sounds a little racist,"</p><p>"Not racist, xenophobic at most,"</p><p>"My bad,"</p><p>"Did the shock hurt you?" the blonde asked.</p><p>"I feel like homemade popcorn, but it revived my suit. How'd you know it would work?"</p><p>"I didn't, it was sheer luck. I simply saw you as a big ass iPhone and my hammer as a charger," Fat Amy shrugged.</p><p>"That's... A terrible analogy, the principle behind my suit has nothing to do with that of a phone, it's so much more complex..."</p><p>"Is there a feature that lets you call people?"</p><p>"Yes, but-"</p><p>"Then you're exactly like a phone, get over it," Amy rolled her eyes, "we need to help the girls tie these losers up, Chloe promised us cheeseburgers when we're done and this damn fight made me burn so many calories,"</p><p>And so they did. They loaded up the quinjet with Germans and Nick Fury, head of the SHIELD, took it from there.</p><p>"Holy heck, we almost lost you back there, boss," Cynthia Rose commented with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>"Pfft, as if I would have let her kick the bucket like that. She owes me fifty bucks," the Asgardian chimed in.</p><p>"Actually, you owe me fifty bucks," Beca frowned.</p><p>"Then I made an error in judgement..."</p><p>"I had everything under control, by the way," their leader assured.</p><p>"Really? Cause it looked like you were getting your ass handed to you back there," CR laughed.</p><p>"Oh hush, kitty cat," Beca countered jokingly, rolling her eyes.</p><p>"Um, guys..." Aubrey called, gaining everyone's attention, "Where's Emily?" the question was met with shrugs and shaking of heads. Only seconds after, a holler was heard.</p><p>"Wohooo! Look what I found, Miss Mitchell!" the youngest Avenger hopped off the spiderweb she was clinging to.</p><p>"Ah there she is... Out of nowhere, might I add," Cynthia Rose noted.</p><p>"Right when we mentioned her. Oddly convenient," Flo agreed.</p><p>"What's that?" Aubrey asked curiously, dismissing the girls' comments. Emily opened the capsule she was holding in response, revealing a glowing blue light.</p><p>"The Tesseract?! Where did you find it?!" Beca exclaimed in shock.</p><p>"It was locked in a vault at the bottom of the ocean," Emily took a long breath, "Which was pretty hard to get to but I'm captain of the swimming team so I know my stuff! Anyway it was guarded by this Lochness-ish sea monster so I had to fight that one first, but we were both kinda tired so I resorted to singing a lullaby I wrote during Calculus and it worked! He was fast asleep!"</p><p>"You sang underwater?" Chloe asked.</p><p>"<em>That's</em> the part that shocked you?" Cynthia Rose frowned up at the ginger.</p><p>"She's right, you get distracted during Calculus?" Beca backed.</p><p>"That is most definitely not what I meant at all," CR looked at the girls like they were crazy.</p><p>Beca just shook her head and stared at the younger girl, flabbergasted.</p><p>"Yeah, so then I used some of the explosive thingies you gave me and I opened the vault, but the Testicle-"</p><p>"Tesseract," Beca corrected.</p><p>"Right, it was still protected by some sort of cryptic magic, so I called Lily for help,"</p><p>"But Lily was with us the whole time, we would have noticed if one of us dipped," Aubrey said in confusion.</p><p>"You'd be surprised..." Jessica muttered under her breath.</p><p>"There are a lot of me in my conscious, and even more in my subconscious," Lily explained. Kind of. "I can duplicate my essence when the doors to my chakras are open and my chi is aligned,"</p><p>"That answered pretty much none of our questions," Flo deadpanned.</p><p>"But yeah, that's what happened. Then a funky elder gentleman called Stan gave me a lift with his boat and we checked out the fish. There were so many, and in so many colors! I saw one with big eyes and-"</p><p>"Em, focus," Aubrey cut in.</p><p>"Right, sorry. So thankfully I came back in time, it looked like a MAGA rally in full swing here," Emily finished with a nervous but lighthearted chuckle.</p><p>"That's... Insane, Emily. I'm really proud of you," their leader slowly smiled, the taller girl beaming with surprise and excitement.</p><p>"You are?"</p><p>"Yes, of course. How did you even know where to find it?"</p><p>"Oh easy, I googled it," Emily waved in dismissal.</p><p>"You've got to be kidding me,"</p><p>"Anyways..." Stacie interjected, dropping the subject, "what matters now is that we defeated the bad guys, we have the Testicle-"</p><p>"<em>Tesseract</em>. Why do you all think it's Testicle?" Beca groaned.</p><p>"-And that I can feel my boobs again," Stacie continued, ignoring the shorter girl, "with She-Hulk it was all chest muscles, it's so freaking weird. 0/10 would not recommend,"</p><p>"I like the green chick, she humbles you down," Fat Amy smirked.</p><p>"Ugh, you will never understand my struggle. I go from Charlize Theron to Charlize Theron in <em>Monster</em>!" the brunette whined, getting an eye roll in return.</p><p>"Well, now that we're all free, let me take y'all to McDonald's like I promised. Cheeseburgers for everyone!" Chloe grinned, earning cheers from the group, "plus an extra little something for my cutie who just cheated death," she leaned towards Beca's ear.</p><p>"Which is..." the brunette gulped, her cheeks getting rosier.</p><p>"Nuggets! I know you love nuggets," Beca stared at her blankly for a long moment.</p><p>"Oh,"</p><p>"You know, in Australia they call McDonald's '<em>maccas</em>'. Ain't it cool?" Fat Amy said.</p><p>"That reminds me, if you're from planet Asgard, how come you have an Australian accent?" Cynthia Rose questioned.</p><p>"I don't know mate, I really like Australia. My dream is to unite Asgard and Australia and create 'Asgtralia',"</p><p>"That's a little ambitious," Flo raised an eyebrow.</p><p>"Says the one who wants a green card," the blonde countered sarcastically.</p><p>"Good point,"</p><p>"Ah don't stress it now. Let's go, pitches!" Stacie cheered, "We're gonna get'em burgers!"</p><p>"You know, this is just like that time in Budapest," Chloe snickered as the group started walking, "I went on a-"</p><p>"Wait!" the girls stopped and turned around to meet two masked strangers in black and red suits, who looked like...</p><p>"Spidergirl?" Cynthia Rose asked in confusion, "or Spider... People, I guess," she corrected herself, noticing it was a man and a woman.</p><p>"No, I'm right here?" Emily frowned beside her.</p><p>"We're not Spidergirl!" the man denied.</p><p>"Although we get that a lot. Especially him," the woman added.</p><p>"Who are you then?" the two laughed nervously.</p><p>"You're joking right? Come on!" the man said, "We're Deadpool! Actually, I'm Deadpool, she's Lady Deadpool,"</p><p>"Which by the way is kinda sexist. I had the Deadpool idea, you should be Sir Deadpool or something and I should be just Deadpool,"</p><p>"Oh stop that, anything is sexist to you, even mysogynism,"</p><p>"It is! Mysogynism is <em>literally</em> sexist!"</p><p>The group of heroes watched quietly as the duo bickered.</p><p>"This is the weirdest thing I've seen in a while, and I'm friends with the Blue Man Group," Fat Amy whispered to the girls.</p><p>"Alright, you guys know us. Iron Girl, you know us," Deadpool insisted.</p><p>"No, I absolutely don't," the brunette blinked, still unable to process whatever was going on at the moment.</p><p>"Excuse the bluntness, but what exactly do you want from us?"  Aubrey asked, unconvinced.</p><p>"We just wondered if we could, you know, crash your little VIP parties, heroes to heroes," Lady Deadpool explained as Deadpool winked to Iron Girl.</p><p>"I literally just told them I don't know them, why are they winking," the brunette whispered uncomfortably to her girlfriend, who shrugged.</p><p>"We don't really have VIP parties, so that would be a no," Aubrey clarified.</p><p>"Yeah it's usually just us and karaoke, sometimes we're joined by freelance brazilian strippers and one Buddhist monk who was under a vow of silence so I'm not sure he was aware of what was going on, but that's it," Fat Amy added, "unless you count the strippers as all the characters they portrayed, of course,"</p><p>"Amy, don't," Chloe tried to interrupt.</p><p>"There was sexy Santa for Christmas, hot stuff Cupid for Valentine's Day, and then we got spicy Abe Lincoln on the 4th of July, even though I think that was a homeless man. We were all really wasted,"</p><p>"I think that's enough," Beca cleared her throat forcefully.</p><p>"We thought maybe you had some vacant spots in the Avengers? I mean, you could use two more pairs of arms, right?" Deadpool asked.</p><p>"Depends. What can you do?" Cynthia Rose quizzed.</p><p>"Oh we don't really have superpowers," Deadpool replied.</p><p>"Nope,"</p><p>"But we used to be in acapella vocal groups which was just as hectic, so we're not afraid of aliens or monsters,"</p><p>"Yeah we won national championships, it was a pool of sharks," Lady Deadpool agreed, "and then we became commentators, which was even worse cause most of those self-proclaimed singers were nails on chalkboards,"</p><p>"We're not interested, but it was nice meeting you!" Beca quickly said before  ushering the girls to go. They heard whining behind them but kept walking ahead.</p><p>"Those two seemed a little cuckoo, am I right?" Stacie said.</p><p>"Yep,"</p><p>"Weirdos,"</p><p>"For sure. Acapella championships? Is that even a thing?" Beca shook her head.</p><p>"Okay but it sounds kinda cool though... What if we gave acapella singing a shot?" Chloe proposed, causing her girlfriend to give her a look.</p><p>"Yeah! We could be called 'the Bellas'. Or something like that," Emily beamed excitedly.</p><p>"Hmm..." Beca thought for a moment, considering it, "Nope, that's an awful idea,"</p><p>"Completely unconceivable," Stacie agreed.</p><p>"I'm still waiting for the day you say something smart, Emily," Fat Amy sighed.</p><p>"Okay, got it..." Emily mumbled in defeat.</p><p>And the rest is history.</p><p>Hold on! I think we're forgetting something, or more specifically, someone...</p><p>The Avengers were sitting at a McDonald's table, each of them digging into their burgers, as a familiar woman in a red and blue suit approached them.</p><p>"Hello, ladies,"</p><p>The heroes looked up, Beca almost choking on her fries.</p><p>"D-Denise?? Holy crap, it's been a while!" she exclaimed in surprise, taking a moment to notice her singular attire, "may I ask why are you dressed like that?"</p><p>"What, y'all think you're the only ones who can rock the superhero look?" Denise smirked in amusement, "besides, Denise is outdated. You can call me Captain Marvel,"</p><p>"<em>You're</em> Captain Marvel?!" Chloe asked in shock.</p><p>"You betcha ass I am!" she replied coyly, "that's kinda why I left college. I had to protect space,"</p><p>"Really? I thought you had joined a cult or something..." Aubrey whispered the last part.</p><p>"I thought she was buried alive," Lily also whispered, but no one really heard.</p><p>"Please, I was on a mission when I absorbed the energy of the Tesseract. Who do you think brought it on earth in the first place?"</p><p>"Damn, you're a badass," Fat Amy commended.</p><p>"Thanks," the woman grinned, "what about you guys? What have you been up to?"</p><p>"Same old, same old," Beca shrugged.</p><p>"Oh hey, if your duty is to protect space, what brings you on this lame ass planet?" Stacie chimed in with a small smile.</p><p>"Just for a quick visit, making sure the Tesseract did not cause too much trouble. I'm actually on a break, should go back to saving the world in a minute. You know, Skrulls are invading the planet,"</p><p>"<em>Skrulls</em>?!" Aubrey almost shouted, "Why didn't Fury tell us?!"</p><p>"It's okay, I got this! I plan to be back home for dinner, so it'll be a minute," Denise waved her hand in dismissal, "you guys enjoy your meals, it was great seeing you again. We should catch up sometime!"</p><p>Just like that, they said their goodbyes and the visibly overpowered superhero left the restaurant.</p><p>"That was crazy,"</p><p>"Did I actually break up with the most powerful superhero in the universe?"</p><p>"I bet I could crush her in arm-wrestling when I'm Hulk,"</p><p>"Well, I'm literally a goddess, so,"</p><p>"I'm a little lost... Who was that?"</p><p>"Don't stress it, Em, just focus on your happy meal,"</p><p>"Come on, she's not cooler than us. We're the Avengers, for crying out loud!"</p><p>"You're right, Chlo, and yet I'm feeling some kind of shame devouring cheap onion rings in a fast food while she's out there kicking ass..."</p><p>There was a pause after Stacie's half hearted comment.</p><p>"Let's just, let's go home," Beca said, making a face, to which everyone nodded and stood up.</p><p>"Let's pack up the food first, though," Fat Amy suggested, earning another round of nods.</p><p><em>Now</em>... The rest is history.</p><p>
  <strong>*****</strong>
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